|Current mood:|| distressed|
|Current music:||The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony|
Crap. I'm loosing my memory. It used to be that I could remember anything. Introduce me to someone once, and I'd never forget that name. When I wrote, I could always grab the perfect word out of the air. I could even list synonyms for that word. I remembered everything.
But not anymore. I forget names, even if I spoke to that person a matter of days earlier. Words don't come to me easily. Sometimes, I realize that the right word exists and that I know it, but it eludes me. I have to concentrate for things I didn't need to before. When I write, I often forget what sentence I'm writing and I have to re-read what I have, but sometimes I forget the wording I was going to use.
I suppose I see what caused all this. About a year ago I started browsing forums on the internet. A lot of idiots there, so I wasn't constantly exposed to the same vocabulary I would encounter in good books. Also, I was suddenly exposed to scores of people I hadn't known before, each with a name I had to add to my memory. During the summer, I went to a camp with 112 people, and had to remember many more names. During the school year, I only dug a deeper hole for myself by joining other forums and trying to become aquainted with everyone faster than I should have.
I've thought about my options. I could take some pills, but that would make me dependant, and that's the last thing I want. I could try mind exercises, but I don't think that would solve my problem. Forgetting things I don't need anymore would be great, but my mind isn't a computer. I can't delete only certain memory spots, it would be more randomized. Shit, that last sentence didn't end like I wanted it too. It's yet another example of my problem.
I suppose the best thing to do would be to try to get more sleep, but with school and all, it's a challenge.