| Current mood: |  pensive |
| Current music: | Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven |
Introduction
Today I read my friend Aria de Eruanno's blog and decided to make my own. That's the short story.
The long version is that it gave me that near-crying feeling. You know, that feeling when you know there's tears trying to burst out, but you know you aren't gonna cry? It made me pensive, and that in turn made me start thinking about my feelings. So I decided to share them with other people, or even just the computer. But that delves into my personality disorders, and I already talked about those to someone today.
Now to the meat of the update. I probably won't be using this to talk about my life much (knowing me, I probably won't update it at all after next month), but I plan on talking about my philosophy on life. For example, I said earlier that Eruanno's update almost made me cry. That lead me to realize, "Hot damn! I can't remember the last time I honestly cried! What was it, two, three years ago?" I really usually don't have much I would cry about. I never take anything that seriously and brush away everything. If I lose a game or tournament, I just think, "Oh well, too bad." A girl doesn't like me back? "Oh well, there's other women in the world."
Sometimes I'm so calloused, it scares me. I've never had anyone close to me die, but if someone does, I fear I won't shed any tears. My greatest fear at this point is that I'll just pause and then go back to doing whatever I'm doing.
But enough dark thoughts! In brighter news, I think there maybe someone new in my life. You know the feeling, where you meet someone and after a few days think, "Hey, I can picture myself with her!"
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