jill is better than your mom (steinhousexcore) wrote, @ 2004-03-07 23:31:00

a love letter
my dear shelton,
mr.
for the past year and a half, i have known you and you have known me. from the first time i saw you, i thought you were attractive. and, if what you have said to me upon several late-night occasions is true, you have thought the same about me. when i first met you, i was going through boys like jeans, and the only boy i couldn't have was you. that upset me. then, for a while, we didn't see each other that often. and that upset me more. because i like you so much. i like you for more reasons than the simple outward-appearance/physical reasons. i like your paintings, your music, your attitude; i like you as a whole person. and seeing you with a girlfriend is so frustrating. because for a while there, i thought i could have you. and now, all of a sudden, i can't have you again.
i read a magazine article today that said that to capture a man's interest, you have to play the "maybe yes, maybe no" game. i think i ruined that bit. by breaking up with justin just when i may or may not have almost had you, i lost. but you're still playing. maybe i can get you. maybe i can't. i probably won't. because, and honestly, you are four years older than me and you have a girlfriend and i'm sixteen, in high school, and spoiled as hell.
if you knew how much i thought about you, you would be amazed. and its not even that i constantly think about you. only twice or three times a day. but they are completely random thoughts. i will remember a tee shirt i saw you wear once. or something you said.
moreover, i am amazed at your ability to recall the most trivial facts about me. you told me to eat ice to help with anemia. that was thoughtful.
what i am getting at is basically that, under the proper circumstances, i may or may not be able to fall in love with you. but as that is probably not also on your agenda, it would be a wise time to realize that you and i are simply something to keep each other entertained while searching for something better. and however upsetting that may be, it is (most likely) the truth.

yours very lovingly,

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