Tuck those ribbons under your hem and be a good soldier...
I want to disappear. I want to run away. I want to become a mouse, insignificant, independent, and unused to being held lovingly. I want to forget that the things I miss even exist.
Life has gotten so small...all i do is try to write papers (and then fail to accomplish anything other than wasting time, even on Adderall), study for finals, and sleep. Anytime I try to be social it fails because everyone is in their own little study-bubble too--even S. And trying to talk to people outside of Harvard is pretty much impossible right now because my fucking cellphone is only getting enough service to receive calls, but not to actually let me talk to or call people. I am in socially/academically-induced solitary confinement and it SUCKS. I'm studying/writing in S.'s room or in the common room, and I still feel so alone.
I feel like I'm slowly being crushed by the inhumanly monotonous demands of life.
Where's my release/outlet/escape?
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