| Current mood: |  distressed |
| Current music: | Ani Difranco--Falling is like this |
We didn't know/we didn't even try/one minute there was road beneath us/and the next just sky
Things are falling apart.
I can't afford going to Burning Man. Realizing that was crushing, but only temporarily so...but...just when I was coming to terms with that...
I found out that I got rejected by the artist-development grants I applied for this summer, which means I can't afford aerial dance lessons this summer. Which means I basically have no shot of ever improving my technique, because sporadically practicing on my own silks whenever I can find space and a spotter only helps me choreograph stuff but doesn't actually significantly improve the range of what I can do.
I have very few definite things to look forward to this summer. I have to grapple with term papers and finals and not having the time or money to take dance classes here for the next 3 weeks, and then I'm heading to NYC with no job and very little money. I have a place to stay, and I'll be taking classes in the same places I did last year (only without the aerial dance stuff), and I won't be able to afford to go out with friends or to see performances. What the fuck am I going to do?
Oh, and S. is going to Germany for at least 6 weeks, possibly 3 months.
I am terrified and crushed.
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