when i first popped the compact disc into it's player, i had nothing but good intentions. i was to listen and reminise, but i started crying and remembered everything that i now miss. i remember it all. i was going to instant message you to pretend i was mad, stick up for a friend or something of the sort. but we talked about everything except the friend. religion, life, love, regrets.. for hours.. for hours. i remember sleeping one night and you calling- left a message on my machine. you sounded so uncomfortable. "uhh yeah, it's me.." and the day you got into that last fight with your mom, i knew it was all going to be over soon. 4 hour good-bye followed by a 2 a.m goodnight.. "dont let me sleep" and i couldn't.. it was only supposed to be for a week. you didnt even have the courage to tell me you didnt want to come back home. and i remember the night i died.. our last fight. i remember the last phone call, the one where i heard you cry. you sounded so uncomfortable "i dont know what to say" so i said i love you..
..i still do