|Current mood:|| aggravated|
|Current music:||atreyu- lip gloss and black|
sry for the lack-age of happy
im just full of belated-nesses
this week...errrr....so anywayz
happy belated anniversery! i
love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeshyesh...
i havent talked to either of
ya'll in a long time...grrr....
but anywayz, today i went and
saw the secret window with some
peoples, discluding shorty...but
i went with 8 other people,
including my girlfriend..haha
yesh i have a boyfriend and
a girlfriend, im so lucky.hehe
she(sam) used to go out with
one of shorty's bestest friends,
john, but he made me break
up with her for him so he could
go back out with this psyco
bitch (caitlin who used to be
my friend but then she started
doing all this stupid stuff
like drinking and smoking
cigerettes and pot and cutting
only for pity and crap...i do it
cuz im sad or pissed, but i havent
in a whole 1 1/2 week! im so
proud of myself!!!!) and so then
i asked her out and so now we
go out...i told shorty but he
didnt seem to mind...i dont
even know if he understood
what i was saying cuz he
looked kinda out of it...oh well...
but so anywayz...im having problems
again, one of my friends (my bestest
friends, essan) is like obsessive
compulsivly in love with shorty...
she calls him every night, stares at
him, doesnt let go of him when
he hugs her goodbye, runs downstairs
at school just so she can be
with him before me and amber
get there, and when she and i talk, she
doesnt talk about anything eles...
tis so weird, even i dont call him
every night..i talk to him on
the phone like once or twice a week...
but yeah, and i havent really spoken
to her a lot lately, cuz she makes
me feel really really uncomfortable, and
then on friday afternoon after
school at carpool she told me
that she needed to talk to me
and so we walked to the side of the
school to talk, and she asked me if i
was mad at her and all this stuff and
i was like..."umm i'd rather talk
about this in private on the phone
later tonight ok?" and she said yeah,
and then i saw sam and i was like
hey sam! and she came over and
gave me a hug and we walked over
to were we usually sit holding hands
and then essan (the girl who is
obsessd with shorty) started
talking to him, and they both
totally ignored us and so we walked
over to the side of carpool and sat on the
ground together holding hands and
shit (tis amusing how much people
stare...) and they were still talking
and so like 5 minutes later we
walked back over there and sat
next to them on the bench and they
still ignored us, and then essan had to
leave (thank god) and then i was sitting
only less than 1 foot away from him,
and he didnt talk to me at all, just
kinda sat and glared...and stared
down at the ground...i was like wtf?
but then my momy came and
picked me up...and he when he
hugged me he didnt even say "ich
liebe dich", which is german for i
love you...and he always tells me that.
its like hes reminding me that he
loves me...or reasurring himself...
i just dont know...he confuses me...
but then later that night around 8.45 ish
i called essan to talk to her, and her
mom informed me that shorty had
come over and they had gone to
books a million (a bookstore that
pretty much all the goth/punk kids
hang out at) together...im not really
a jealous person, but im sorry, that
kinda ticked me off. not just kinda...
and then he was gonna go see the
movie with us today but he couldnt.
i dont even know if i really want to
go out with him anymore. its only
been 2 weeks and 5 days....er.....
i love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!