|Current music:||nirvana-rape me|
*sigh* new journal once again
today was great...i spent so much time with sarah...i was so happy. i had another journal...but some of my friends found it so i deleted it. sometimes i feel like im so stupid for likeing sarah...i mean...shes my friend and she has a boyfriend...*sigh* i just dont know...i wish i was normal...but i always make things harder than they have to be...and then cover it up and just act happy in front of everyone...just try and please everyone. well im sick of it...im sick of everything and i just feel like i should die because im making everything harder for everyone. the only people that really care are my family and some of my friends. im so boring...no one likes me...everyone thinks im a freak. and to add on to that, what if people found out i was bi? god...i dont even know what would happen then. only a few people know about it....sarah knows...but she doesnt know how much i really like her. i know if i ever told her or if she ever found this, my life would be ruined...our friendship and everything i have with her would be gone forever...and it would be all my fault. once again i would be making my life harder for myself. i wish i could stop feeling...stop all this feeling...forever.