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Court (spillivanilli) wrote,
@ 2004-06-18 19:18:00
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    Current music:fire and rain - james taylor

    seems like a dream to me now...
    i haven't updated in a little while...i feel that lack of follow-through creeping up on me again. but maybe it's just that i don't have anything that interesting to say.

    my friend jane is moving to arizona in a month and a half. it's going to be weird to have her out there for so long. she's also living with two boys...i wonder how that's going to be for her...

    lastly, my grandpa passed away today in saginaw. my parents went up to see him this morning in a rush because he got really bad. then my mom called be to tell me 15 minutes after it happened. i'm sad, but i feel like i should be more emotional about it. to my credit, i was never super close to him...especially toward the end when he was in the grips of alzheimer' grandma is awesome i'm thinking that i'll be able to get closer to her b/c he is was always so weird with them.

    my dad is really sad...i think that he has a lot of regrets about the way their whole relationship went. i definitely want my parents to be a huge part of my kids' grandparents weren't really the lovey type. i'm going to make my parents show my kids how much they love them all the time!

    my dad also was upset about how bad that my grandpa eventually got...he looked terrible and only weighed about 80 pounds...down from 190 in his fifties and sixties...the cancer just ate away at him. my dad told me that he never wants to get that bad, and said "smother me with a fucking pillow if that's what it takes" to put him out of his misery...

    so anyway, this is weird. i'm going to end with the lyrics from a great song by paul simon, who is amazing:

    "Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together."
    "I've got some real estate here in my bag."
    So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies
    And we walked off to look for America.
    "Kathy," I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh
    "Michigan seems like a dream to me now
    It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw
    I've come to look for America."

    Laughing on the bus;
    Playing games with the faces;
    She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy;
    I said "Be careful his bowtie is really a camera."

    "Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat."
    "We smoked the last one an hour ago."
    So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
    And the moon rose over an open field.

    "Kathy, I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping.
    "I'm empty and aching and I don't know why."
    Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike:
    They've all come to look for America
    All come to look for America
    All come to look for America

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