|Current mood:|| sore|
|Current music:|| Swing Swing All American Rejects|
To Begin in the Middle
My name is of little importance to those of you who may read this journal or care about it, even, for that matter. I seriously doubt anyone will read this, much less take an interest in the life of a psychotic, petty, hypocritical little teenager such as myself. Enough with the self-deprication. It gets old, but it is my life, and thus is the way I deal with it. Writing has always been some sort of a passion for me. I take time out of my life just to sit for long periods of time and vent my feelings, putting pen to pad and thinking things out in ink. It generally makes things make sense. That or talking to Katie and Brandon. Those two keep me saner that I have any right to be. LOL. When reading these entries, you'll probably catch the irrational, emotional side of me first in the early entry, and then a logical approach/repeal to the previous entry. Don't be appauled by dramatic, over-use of emotion. If you are so offended, bite me. Well now, on to the real entry.
I just got back from working my third week at Camp C.A.M.P. Its a camp for physically and mentally disabled children, and I am a councelor there. A few think I'm actually half decent at it, but the majority say I'm a fuck-up. Go figure. (It took 'em long enough to figure it out!!) Anyways, this week was autistic week. My camper's name was Clayton. He was nine with a mental age of a 5 yr. old. Joy! (sarcasm). He was great the first few days, not obstinate at all. But then hit Wednesday, and we started taking after other boys in our tribe. He started screaming "no" at me every chance he got. He started hitting, pinching, and attempting to bite me. He never got a good hold on me, the lil sucker. LOL. Well, I loved Clayton to death, but the week was trying, both emotionally and physically. I'm glad its over and I have some time to recoup. I feel bloody aweful.
We had a lost camper this morning. He wasn't really "lost", just not where he was supposed to be at 4:30 a.m., lol. Well, I was woken up, and running around in a dark, residential area, looking for the kid, tryin' to make sure my Katie-girl was alright in the process. It doesn't help being at Camp, when you know one of your friends is having a difficult time. You can't ever fix anything and focus your attention properly. Anywho, back onto topic. At 4:30, Brad (the Camp main-guy-person) comes knocking on our door, telling us to get up, lost camper, etc. I get my shoes on, and go running to grab my flashlight as everyone runs out of the cabin. In all my semi-sleepy-stupor genius, I manage to trip over my bed and hit my eye right on a bolt sticking out from Katie's bed. Yup, go klutzy me, right??? LOL. So my eye hurts. And then, when I got back to the cabin, I puked from nerves. The camper was one of my good friend's brothers. Kinda struck a nerve. Anyways, I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so I've been up since 4:30 a.m. Go me!
I got two letters while I was gone. One was from my lil Peanut. She drew me a picture of a penguin!!! **grins** Its really adorable. And her letters always make me laugh out loud. I need to write her one back. The second one was from Jer. It was written back in May when we were still an "item" and was filled with all the sweet sappy things we used to say. I kinda feel really shitty right now. Actually, I really feel like cutting. But I made a promise to Brandon that I wouldn't, and so I won't. I'm going to keep myself pre-occupied. Actually, I'm talking to him and Katie right now on AIM and I do feel strangely better just speaking with them. They always have the ability to lighten my mood.
This is all for tonight. As I look at it, I'm thinking what a hella long entry it is. Gah, Carlie was right, I do write too much. LOL. 'Night all, sleep tight.