oh man, so much to discuss...i don't even remember how long it's been. thursday? tuesday? who knows...since then i have been coerced into taking an 830 science class which i am not looking forward to, talked to my family, well, 2 of 'em anyways, downloaded tons of music, went to the city, saw my friend dance in a unicef benefit on campus, eaten a lot of cookies and had some mexican food. i love mexican food. i haven't had it since i was home - why? 'cause all there is up here is chinese and italian places. and lemme tell you they get old after awhile.
so yesterday i watched ''ma vie en rose'' for my feminist theories class, went to the city with jeff, and watched ''brown sugar'' with my tam. jeff and i had a good time, we went to generation, i love that place. i haven't been since i went with matt. hm. i always go with boys, don't i? anyways, jeff and i had fun, it's weird that i've only known him since the semester started, we get along real easy and stuff, it's not forced, there's no sexual tension or insecurity. and it dawned on me while we were eating dinner that perhaps this was a date, but then i was like nah. it was too easy. but then i thought i might just tell my momma it was, 'cause you know, she'd like to imagine me going out on dates and having a boyfriend and being, quoteonquote ''normal'', whatever that is. keep in mind, she tells me not to get married til i'm 35, but at this point in her college career, she was already engaged to the devil (aka the father). talk about mixed messages. but then i was thinkin, if jeff and i were on a date, then that would mean i've been on lots of dates with ross and joe and tyler, but those were never intended as ''maybe we'll get together'' - those were, we like hangin out with each other, let's go to the city. although actually, me and joe were a problem because i'm good friends with his ex-girlfriend. and it came up once, but i had to ignore it, 'cause no matter how much i knew he and i would be soooo goood together, i couldn't do that to my friend. even though i seriously thought about it for like a day. but i got over it (*patting self on back, that was almost a huge drama..) well not over it, i just hung out with my friend and was like, there's no way i'm givin up our friendship. anyways, back to me and jeff. yeh, we just had fun, so easy, no forced conversations, just easy. we have some similar music taste, some not. it works. it's a mutual respect kind of thing i think. and the boy loves to cook. now, i don't wanna be one of those stereotypical girls that says whomever she marries has to cook, but if he doesn't wanna survive on grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly, he's gonna have to. the only stuff i like cookin is cookies, and i can't live on that. he loves to cook. i was like oh my god...i hate cooking, more reasons i have to live on campus next year too. and i don't like grocery shopping, unless it's a veg night and i can get candy and cookies and chips and magazines. otherwise, being responsible for planning food for multiple peoples is ridiculous and stressful, and exactly why my mother doesn't like it. speaking of which, when i talked with her thursday, she said she just went grocery shopping for the first time in two weeks. um yeh, there's five people in that house. two weeks!!!! that means they were starving after four days!!! two teenage boys, a grown man, a teenage girl who's in the midst of competition - there's no way there was anything left to eat but old pumpkin pie filling (we have several cans of it from oh, five years ago...) and veggie burgers, and hannah's the only one that'll eat those other than me, and even then, she won't always.
let's see, on thursday. ridiculous amounts of snow. i skipped german 'cause it was downtown and there was no way i was putting myself on a ramvan in whiteout conditions. so i went to my feminist theories professor's office hours, because it was an amazing lecture that day, and i just was mulling over stuff. we just sat for like fortyfive minutes, she had to kick me out 'cause she had a class to teach. she came to the conclusion that i'm the kind of person that'll have someone else do the research, and i'll do the applications of the knowledge, because, (this is me, after i was agreeing with her) what the hell's the point of knowledge if you don't do anything with it? which is the problem i have with sociology. it's all great that they research all these things about how society is so biased and prejudiced if you're anything but a white, upperclass male, but you should use that knowledge to transform society, right?!!?!?! i mean, what the hell's the point of it otherwise??? so you can act all high and mighty and bohemian smoking a cigar in a corner of a bar??? NO! you change it!!! make it less unfair! dear lord....i swear. i don't think i realized before this week how much of an activist i have the potential of being. it never dawned on me that there could be people out there aware of these inequalities and not be doing anything about them. and i was talking with a girl from my class, she's a philosophy major that's graduating in a few months, and we were discussing how afraid we both were of forgetting all these causes we're passionate about, and just falling into the daily grind of things and becoming very self-centered. i'm afraid of it too, you know. 'cause you always hear about how college is the time when you protest and do 'radical' things, and then you 'get over it' and just move on with your own life. but it shouldn't be like that you know?? you should keep working for what you believe in, not allow your beliefs to be changed simply because it's hard to stand up for them. of course it's hard to stand up for them, it's almost a point of why our society is set up like it is, it's hard to get anything to change.
hmm, what else....oh yeh, but my professor told me how she thought i was a senior, and she asked if i was a philosophy major, and i had to say no, since i'm not. but she was happy to hear that i'm women's studies. she said she wanted to enter my paper in for one of the contests they have for seniors, but sadly she couldn't once she looked me up and i was a sophomore. so i just told her i got two years. and you know what else, they offer sucky classes in the fall here. all the good stuff's in the spring. damn them. how're we supposed to stay on top of our classes and work if they're offering a bunch of crappy classes all at once??? grrr...
i just finished another cookie. i think that's like....five or six for today. yay me. it's the weekend though too, and i'm sure when i get home, i won't be eating because it's just too much effort, i mean, let's compare walk to the caf vs. making my own food, eating it and then cleaning up everything after myself. waaaaay too much time. you see why i'm gonna have to shack up with someone who loves to cook?? 'cause i just won't partake often enough to keep myself healthy. alright, i think i'm gonna get shital to come with me to the gym now, i'll catch you later.