|Current mood:||Oddly Content|
|Current music:||Tom Petty|
The Day is Won.
its odd how things work out in life. Here I was thinking that I had made the irredeemable mistake... Fortunatly for me my persistence (since we know it was not my charm) paid off and the love of my life has forgiven me. I do not know why she did it except for the obvious reason of that her love for me is the same, by all rights she could have never spoke to me again and I would have forced myself to understand her point of view (the bane of being logical). "Many things can build a man but something as simple as the change of a pattern can topple all that has been created and founded by the man." a smart man thought this up and it holds true to most situations that man finds himself in...or should I say puts himself in...Its odd to me that most people including myself spends so much time building something up and so much energy into keeping things alive that in one fell stroke he jepardizes it all. I do not know why or what stops this, as far as I can figure it is nothing more than human nature, or guy nature. At any rate I have regained what I have lost and am thankful for it.
As far as the death of my friend in Iraq, I do not know if fate would have been different if I were there with him, it is arrogant to think so at face value, however tilley and I were very good and determining each others moves and working with each other. most soldiers these days spend more time bitching about each other than being teammates, in a firefight, that will get you one thing, in a 7 foot long pine box with an american flag draped over it. I am beginning to deal with his death and wish I could see him put in the ground but unfortuantly cannot make it. I have spoken with his wife and told her how sorry I was and how I wish I could have been there, she thanked me and then I let her go...I will check in on her from time to time.....
The phone call shocked me with a jolt of reality to help with my logical thinking, I do not fear death, I however fear failing my children, and the shaken voice that was tilleys wife startled me into a daydream of my wife in all black my children standing before her and all the people I knew huddled around a black box while some no name politician handed her a flag with the hollow words "on behalf of a grateful nation and a proud army" these are not words that I would want to be remembered by, but at the same time the hold an amout of honor that is un-paralleled by any other form of honor.
Something to think about...