Zach, we all go through bad break-ups. The lows are the lowest of low. Especially when you're convinced that they were "the one." I've been deathly depressed about Robert and yesturday I told myself that I would just try to get over him, no matter how miserable it would feel. Then today he called me and just talking to him made me so happy and I realized something. I'm not going to feel bad for myself. I'm not going to try to get back with him, or feel depressed that I'm not. I'm going to think of all the times he made me smile and all of the goodness he brought into my life. I'm going to think about how my life was, prior to meeting him. I realize that he made me the happiest I've ever been, and now we're over, but no one can take my memories from me. Look at Stew as a gift. Your life was mediocre at best and Stew made you genuinely happy. Your worried about Wade, right? So I know that you can safely agree with me when I say things (I'll say almost just so that there is a sliver of hope left) never work out. All you can do is look back and think "Damn I was lucky. Look how happy he/she made me. I really had it good." We're never going to have it good forever, you know? You take what you can get and vice versa. All you can do is make the best of it. Love as much as you can while you can and when it's gone it's never really gone. I can say that because I know you think about Stew more than anything right now so you know that there is still a part of her in you. Robert may join the marines...may go to jail...who the fuck knows? But one thing I do know is that no one can take away what he gave me. He gave me happiness and love and compassion. Stew gave you all those things and they're still within you. Love makes people selfish, never satisfied. Don't take what you had for granted and don't be afraid to love again. If you avoid the chance the love again then you'll never feel what you felt for Stew again. Even if it's only temporary...you know what they say: to have love and lost is better than to have never loved at all. Cherish what you get in life. Be thankful that you were lucky enough to live a life where you can say you actually felt it. Take care and know that I'm always here for you.