Sommelier Yin! (sommelier_yin) wrote, @ 2003-11-22 22:33:00

ELVIS KILLED KENNEDY!
40 Years ago on November 22, 1963, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas Texas by one Lee Harvey Oswald. Now...in one man's opinion (some crazy guy I found online), ELVIS killed Kennedy. However: here's some astonishing coincidences between the two....

John Fitzgerald Kennedy has three names.
Elvis Aron Presley also has three names.
Both names are, amazingly, comprised of consonants AND vowels.

Kennedy was born in 1917, and died in 1963.
Elvis was born in 1935, and died in 1977.
All 4 years have EXACTLY 4 digits.


Kennedy was 'The President'.
Elvis was 'The King'.


Kennedy commanded a PT-Boat in the Pacific for the Navy.
Elvis drove a truck in West Germany for the Army.


Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
Lincoln was the name of the President during the Civil War.
During the Civil War, there was Colonels.
'The Colonel' was the nick-name of Elvis's manager, Tom Parker.

Kennedy married a woman named Jacqueline Bouvier.
She later remarried a Greek named Onassis, one of the richest men in the world.
Elvis married a woman named Priscilla Beaulieu.
Their daughter married a geek named Jackson, one of the richest uh... PERSONs in the world. Jackson was also Greek... at heart. (i.e.: he liked little boys)

Kennedy approved the 'Bay of Pigs' invasion.
Elvis regularly invaded Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Kennedy's face is stamped into the American Half-Dollar.
Elvis's face is tatooed on some white-trash woman's fat ass in Mississippi.

And the most startling coincidence of all...

Kennedy died in DALLAS.
Elvis died on the TOILET.

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