| Current mood: |  hopeful |
| Current music: | "Low"~ Kelly Clarkson |
*My Weakness Is I Care Too Much*
Ok so Aaron promised not to do what he did in the past....I trust you...I really do not miss writing in this...this is probably the only thing I could live without...some things i just cannot give up...like people...it is so hard...when you care so much...and people wonder why you care so much...bc they cannot see why you care so much but maybe they are not suppose to see? But I think it does not matter anymore bc soon it will be over...it may already be over as I write this...it prob is...and maybe that is for the best? I do not want it to be over...I see my life in my head how I want it to be, and nothing in reality is like that...and the things in my head are not like out there that could never happen they are simple things...like having someone in my life that cares about me and that I care about...that calls me randomly and comes by randomly and sits with me when I am bored, or walks on the beach with me bare foot...holding hands...just loving life...going to carnivals I love carnivals so much...just taking life in....in the fall carving pumpkins with me...or going to petsmart to look for a toy pig for my cat...going bowling with my parents or out to eat...or to the movies...I am a simple kind of girl...I do not want things bought for me but if that happens then it is nice and very sweet, but not needed...I even found how much I miss just watching TV with someone...laying on the couch with them...maybe it is the comforting feeling I like...maybe that is bad? I just dont want people look at me and think "weak" bc I say I am but I really do not think I am...I think I am pretty strong...I mean I have no been through that much in my life but some of the things have been kinda big when they were going on and I made it through when others give up...I am strong and i know it...I just get my moments...I am human...we break
I do wish sometimes I could just tell my thoughts to go jump off a cliff bc when everyday I see something or smell something or even hear something that reminds me of a certain time it brings me down...
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