| Current mood: | tired |
| Current music: | the beatles-white album |
la la la la life goes on
i've spent the last hour or two exploring the life of many seniors on open diary, they include SK, emma mcgowan, dan ploof, marcus tracy, brian boucher, and a girl that TA's in the english class before mine. and i'm not done looking yet. this is so intriguing. it makes me feel like drama is normal, and that i'm...well these people are approachable. and human. and sometimes, come off ignorant and stupid and silly and that's okay because we all do. i guess there's a lesson in that. it's also weird to see how someone that is as scary and unapproachable to me as emma mcgowan was not only a freshman...but has gone through just as much change as everyone else. no one's ever truly comfortable. and everyone's a voyeurist, they're watching you watch me watch you right now.
the dead poetic show was pretty mediocre. but at least we know the pits love jesus. today is the first day my ears haven't been ringing. the track meet tuesday went way too long. i improved from last time, but i still had a shitty-ass race. 5:03:80 in the 1500. meh. i skipped practice today and yesterday. it's hard to get excited about going to track when you have so few friends on the team, and it's vacation.
i got a job application for hannafords. between that and meeting with someone at the bank by myself, i felt really grown up. i hate feeling grown up. cooking made me feel grown up. but that was a good feeling, because it wasn't entirely for me.
i hate stumbling onto things, i hate being shown things or told things that i just don't want to know about. but at the same time...it's just nice to observe the world instead of partaking in it for once.
this vacation has been fairly uneventful, but full of events. if that makes sense. i guess i'm waiting for that heaven that i can't quite sustain. and that's a hard thing to live with. not knowing how close you are.
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