| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Howl's Moving Castle Theme - Joe Hisaishi |
♦ into the wild
I didn't get much sleep last night. I think I must have woken up every hour. Maybe the weather. Maybe the alcohol (though booze has never kept me up before). Maybe Monday.
I'm sitting uneasy. It's actually scary not having anything to do. Cos I know someone somewhere will drop a massive X-page advertorial on me at the last minute. I don't really mind, I guess. The deadline rush can be exciting when I don't have weeks to put it off.
When I don't have anything to do, I over-think.
I keep checking my gmail inbox every hour. Wondering when my pass/fail will arrive. The day's only just started and already I want it to end.
I had the strangest feeling of nostalgia on the way to work. Instead of taking the bus (like I've done of late) I walked. My iPod was playing familiar tunes. Suddenly the last two months seemed like a bad dream. I was walking to work. I was happy to be going to work. I could see my wonderful colleagues. Stress over the stories I proudly claimed ownership for. Get made fun of by my silly assistant editors. Wonder if the editor is coming today.
Maybe too nostalgic for my own good. But it actually felt kind of nice this time. It was good to remember there was a time when work meant the world to me and I could never imagine not working.
Mood has plummeted from an email and through my own incompetence. Later.
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