|Current mood:|| indescribable|
|Current music:||Interpol- Stella was a diver, shes always down|
i am at lunch in the library>> having a decent day at school>> which is all i can ask for. All my really painful classes are over for the day and I am just taking it easy in study hall. I cant stop thinking about my fiance>> i guess i cant even callher my girlfreidn anymore b/c technically we are engaged. ehh' my energy is starting to wear out a little. That was the first time i actually ate something during school in a long time. Last night i made dinner for my grandparents and I. I made chilli and it was very very tasty. I wonder what is for dinner tonight. I know that i am going to be a kickass chef because i just have a touch for these things. I am going to make brownines for Alexa so that she will see how much i missed her while she was on the ski trip with her pops. I was thinking about that fable about the german little boy and the father he hates. Omg. i made her cry'? are you kidding? i cant beleive that was possibile. I think she finally beleives me when i tell her what she means to me. Hectors ex crush Tina is going out with a guy named jerome.....def. a negro. thats okay though-- im all about the jungle fever. I am so tired of everyone trying to explain my reasons for feeling the way i feel and doing the things i do. WHy is everyone always so quick to judge and condemn.....could it possibly be that i have some sense of what is best for me.? I guess not. fuck them. I finally know who i am, and no one can take that away from me. I wont let them. I just go into a weird mood. I wanna go sleep somewhere. actually i want to go home.i miss being home alone. i cant even remember the last time i had the day to myself.