Great Moments in Parenting
Damon: ::A terrible niggling idea had been wriggling its way into Damon's mind that day. He could not rid the nauseating image of that little rat slobbering all over his baby girl. He did not want such a thing to happen...but he knew that it was an inevitable fact of life. Damon was worried that he had yet to prepare his daughter for the cruel reality of sex...he shuddered, he didn't want to discuss it with her. He'd rather pop in a video into her TV and make her watch it than to actually have to say anything. This had "hell" written all over it. Damon poured himself a glass of Crown Royal and drained it in one swallow, steeling his nerves for the task ahead. Sure, it'd make Dakota feel weird, but it was already making Damon feel weird. Goddamnit, being a parent to a teenage girl was impossible. The nervous father found his way to Dakota's private bungalow, knuckles rapping against the door before he turned the knob and let himself in. denim hues were glued to the floor, just in case it was an inopportune time to enter. The Crown Royal was churning in his stomach, and his palms felt clammy. He wanted to just turn around and go back to his office and have another drink. Damon would have rather worried about the subject for the next few years until his daughter figured things out for herself...but sometimes people have to do things that they really, really, really don't want to do.::
Dakota: -Dakota, oblivious to the newest chapter of fatherly embarrassment that she was about to be subjected to, had been busy getting ready for bed when she heard the knock in her door. A little brow quirked up as the finished scrubbing her teeth and gurgled a little water.... setting her brush back in place. A quick glance in the mirror and sweep of tiny palms made sure that recently washed and dried and brushed blonde was pulled up into a little ponytail and within the minute she'd pulled the door open. The curious smile set on to glossed over Cupid's bows fell into a half annoyed frown as she saw that it was her father and...well... not anyone else on the planet, but like a good little daughter she stepped aside and let him in.- Whaddayou want? -Before she got an answer Dakota turned, maneuvering to the other side of the little living room to plant her pink pajama pants clad rear on to a cushion of the couch and fingers again went to work, this time trying to pull her far-too-tight white tank top a little lower against her wane rib cage-
Damon: ::Just the greeting he had expected and he gave her a half smile that lit up his clean shaven face.:: Good evening to you too, apple of my eye. ::He responded, in a matching Yankee brogue. His humor soon dissolved into discomfort as he remembered what he had come there for. And why did she have to wear that skimpy stuff? He wasn't comfortable with the idea of his daughter growing into a woman, he wanted to keep her in footsie pajamas for the rest of her life. But as fate would have it...she was maturing... damnit. It made him sad that she was no longer 'daddy's little girl,' it made him sad that she no longer wanted to be. Damon supposed that that was the natural course of things though, as shitty as it was. He joined her, sitting on the opposite side of the couch, looking very uncomfortable the whole time. He leaned forward, elbows on jean clad knees, his fingers tented together momentarily as he thought of a good ice breaker. Sorry, Damon, no ice breakers for this little talk. Once he was done floundering in that false hope he finally just dove in:: Dakota...we need to have a talk. I know you are getting interested in boys...as you proved to me yesterday. But, honey, you have to be careful-and you have to understand it all. You see...sometimes...when a man loves a woman he tries to show her...::He began to fall back on the old speech about birds and bees until he remembered his own outlook on the idea of his daughter having sex with anyone::...but that was in the past. That doesn't happen anymore. Boys are evil, the only thing that boys think about is sex and how to get it from you. They can't help that they are evil, it's like a special retardation that God gives each boy at birth...::He trailed off, and was forming more thoughts on the evilness of boys to spout off to her, hoping to get it all out before Dakota could break in.::
Dakota: -Could Dakota help it if she was blossoming in to a rather attractive little thing? Or that her old clothes seemed a little more tightly pulled against the newer curves they were worn upon? Of course not. But she did see the disapproving hint in Daddy's eyes when she wore... well just about anything that she owned. Now was no different, and she simply ignored the fact that he protested the way she wore her pajamas. It wasn't like anyone else saw her in them! She stared at him through his preparatory silence... fidgeting a bit in her seat as he stared back. Dakota loved her father. She really did. She'd always been a Daddy's girl... and while she was at that phase in her life where they didn't see eye to eye on... well anything... that didn't mean she wouldn't always BE a Daddy's girl. She'd been expecting him to come in here and lecture her at some point on the Ashton subject. That was unavoidable. It might have been if the guy hadn't been laying on top of her when he was introduced to Daddy dearest.... and then there was the mortification of her bikini bottom getting pulled half off in the resulting scuffle. But this... "The Talk"??? Well she hadn't seen that coming, and before he got two sentences in to his "Boys are evil" tirade, Dakota was lost in laughter, fingers clenching at her giggle aching tummy as she lolled back onto the cushions behind her- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh GOD Daddy.... are you serious?
Damon: As a heart attack. Dakota, listen to me. ::he cleared his throat trying to speak through his daughter's fit of laughter, that had not been the reaction he was expecting, he was trying to regroup his soldiers of thought to go into battle again...witty verbal guns blazing...but thus far the whole blazy gun thing had only succeeded in being lukewarm sling shots.:: Ahhh...lets say this. Boys are after...your muffin, they want to take it before any other boy does. But you have to save that muffin, and treasure it until you find a boy that isn't as evil as the rest, and that I don't want to kill, and when you marry him you can give him that muffin, and it will be special, because he will be the only one. But even your husband will be evil because boys are obsessed with muffins, they need them all the time. You know how much I like pineapple? Well, that's how much evil boys like muffins. ::He rubbed a hand over his forehead and over his eyes, having no idea that his daughter was not a virgin anymore. In fact he didn't want to know that she had given up her "muffin," it would just blow his mind, and he'd go hunt down and kill the muffin eater::
Dakota: -Oh this was priceless. She wished she had a video camera running so that she could save this moment forever. It was the most idiotic (and entertaining) speech that she could have ever imagine her father coming up with. Her laughter was uncontrollable.... words barely managing to get sputtered past gasping tiers as she deprived herself of much needed oxygen through torrents of giggles- my....muffin?!?!? -That well rounded rear end of her had slipped off the couch as she fell to half balance on her back and literally roll with laughter. God... she loved her father. She did. But he didn't have a clue. Not that'd she'd give him one. No.. Dakota wasn't a virgin anymore. She hadn't been since last Valentine's Day when her last boyfriend back in New York had managed to convince her it was.... time to give him her muffin. Not that her father ever ever EVER needed to know that. She didn't want him knowing what she'd done with Ryan and more than he wanted to know that his little princess had been indulged in by one of his evil side of the species. God.. she couldn't breathe... but she tried. Tried hard.. gasping out softly- Yes... Daddy... you're right. I'll keep them all far far away from my muffin.
Damon: ::He ignored the fact that she was laughing. he wanted to think that he had done a good job, so he convinced himself that her laughter was out of shock and awe for the wisdom he had imparted to her. He remained quite as she cackled, trying to catch her breath. Wow, Damon you did a damn good job with this. He listened to her, trying to comprehend her words strangled with the throes of overwhelming amusement. It might have been a lot easier for him if she was a little more serious about this, and would sit up on the couch. But then again, he had convinced himself that he was a parenting genius.:: Well...good. I'm glad we understand each other now. ::he smiled and stood, ready to get the hell out of there, he retreated to the door:: Good night Dakota, I love you sweet heart. ::He left her bungalow, walking through the clear night back to his office for a little drinky drink, thinking all the way about how great he was at parenting.::
Dakota: -She managed to crawl up from her sprawl upon the leather and stop her father just before he left. Arms went up to curl around him and she nestled in against his back, hanging there for a moment as she breathed out through a still highly amused grin- I love you too Daddy..... sweet dreams...... -Awwwwwwwwh... now there was something you didn't see all too often. Okay... maybe he wasn't the best parent on the planet.... but her dad tried. She'd give him credit for that... at least in this instant. Plus this had been a Daddy/Daughter moment that she'd never ever forget. She almost wished he'd gone on longer. She hadn't laughed that hard in months.-
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