| Current mood: |  distressed |
cooped up.
i suffer from inferiority complex. always have. i had the opportunity to speak to celine renaudin, french girl from my intercultural communications group. she shed some light on her experiences growing up in france. their lives are so different. their parents cut the umbilical cord by 18, move out to live with their boyfriend/girlfriend if they're serious about each other, live in different parts of the country for extended periods of time alone working and doing their own thing, travel the world when they're on vacation etc. it sounds like the picture perfect life as long as you've got enough money. but it also sounds like a lot of shit and loneliness, no creature comforts no family, nobody you can really rely on but yourself, which is probably the beauty of it all. perhaps something i'm reluctant to break away from because i'm so sheltered and comfortable in my own little cocoon. doing smth like that would mean restructuring the way you see life, complicating your vision and perpetuating the unanswerableness of life.
i am such a lazy pig. high inertia. yet to develop a taste for life. somebody yank me out?
i turned down the india internship because i was afraid. i think deep down inside i was afraid of the unknown, the instability of what the company portrayed itself to be, the fear that grips my heart knowing that i'm alone in a foreign land where there are 84 dialects and even native indians have trouble finding their way around the place. i'm beginning to regret my decision. now that i know i have the liberty to pull out of india, i feel like i missed out on a chance to be independent and all that comes with taking risks. i just wish the cpy could've shown more initiative than taking 2mths to reply with a YES and not providing further details even up till now the end of March, when ppl need to already finish settling their accomodations and air tickets before holidayers snap them up!
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