|Current music:||Disturbed, heh it was on MTV|
Today....Long Long Long
Events.... There are so many things going on inside my head right now. I know myself all to well. First, before you read, please understand that this is me describing how I feel right now. So, if you do not want to read then don't read. There will be good parts, but unfortunately right now there those parts are few and thin. Ok, I'm an endless fuk up. You've got to understand me, there isn't anything special about me. I'm a red headed, pale, crater faced, not so good looking body. Of course, this is how I feel now. I feel ugly inside and out. As you all probably have guessed this is about emotions and girls. Its always about a girl. And I've been an idiot and I have fooled myself. Into believing something that I knew wasn't true. I acted not like me, and knowing what was happening I got scared and held on tighter than I had before, hoping that I could fix things. Knowing this, I also knew the consequences, guys who read: When a girl is not attracted to you, its over. Move on! Especially if you want to be able to be friends with that person still. Despite what I knew and what I was suggested to by friends I didn't follow my own advice. Stupid me, I fukd things up totally, and now this person doesn't even feel all that comfortable around me. Greatness rite? The reason I tell these things is, although I am still not thinking clearly, I want those who read this to realize the mistakes I make from day to day, and not to make them themselves. So think before you act. Please, Everyone hear that reads this I care for. This is who I am, not a bad bone in my body. I can't be mean, I won't allow myself to be it. But still, I'm not a wonderful or great person. Being nice, kind, sweet, trustworthy, etc. does not mean your a great person. I know my down falls, a great person would fix theirs. Ok, besides that, I don't really have a date to my ball. Because of me being an asshole, I am more or less without a date, because I dont want to put the person I know through anymore than I already have. Good thing I'm an optimist with all the turn downs I have had. Furthermore, for those who aren't in these shoes and are the ones being unwantingly woed, tell them! And don't feel bad that you don't feel that way for them. You are you, and no one can change that, not even you. So don't feel down please, you all will have your ups and downs. Hell by reading this you know I do. But still I look forward to tomorrow, doing new things, meeting new people, and keeping intouch with all of those in my past. I don't make short term friends (random, heh). Anyways I could go on forever, but before I go. I want to thank all of you that have been there for me, and all of you that are still there for me. I love you all, thanks.