|Current mood:|| annoyed|
|Current music:||2MB - "PARANOiA KCET" (Clean Mix)|
So Fabulous, So Fierce
Was having this talk with Jolene really worth missing time with Loren? Eventually we had to do it, but... I don't know. I just feel terrible about not really being able to see him. Wednesday last week was the only real day we had with each other, and that was only because Lynn permitted it.
It's no fun being an adult. Those who have kids and justify life with rules just want to feel they have more control over their life than they actually do. At the moment, I'm forced into having to work and live here... I can no longer move about so freely. Loren loves and understands, I'm sure, but I also know we're not without our frustrations.
Teri Rose gave me these yam root pills. I'm supposed to take three in the morning and three at night, which I did today. I forgot what they're supposed to do (I think it was rather important), but I'm sure she can let me know or I'll look it up. Teri Rose the server. Teri Rose the herbalist. What can't that woman do?
The no sleep was alright, even though I did an hour overtime for the second saturday in a row. I don't really care for weekends much. I never get to enjoy them anymore.
My mother has a problem with me staying two weeks at Loren's, but she can't do a damn thing about it. if I lived with her now she'd definitely not let me stay. And I know she still has a problem with Loren; that is unfortunate. If the past months have said anything for our relationship, she's gonna have to get used to him one way or another. Why is she so damn resistant to get involved in a big part of my life? She seems to take pleasure in giving me guilt trips... that she doesn't get to see me anymore because Loren and his mother are taking too much time away. And this is different from when? Does she know I work nearly 30 hours a week?
Blah. Not gonna let her get to me again, just as I'm going to finally take a stand against Jolene. I'm no longer cowering in the shadows to let people walk all over me.
I just killed the nice girl in me. Who's next?