| Current mood: |  lonely |
| Current music: | obsession by seesaw |
abandoned
one by one, my friends leave me.
not all the time by ones, sometimes by multiple numbers.
i dont believe i've had a good friend stay by my side for more than a year and a half.
and it hurts me.
i lost amy
i lost keru
i lost han
i lost eric
i lost michelle
i lost emily
i lost andy (does he even count?)
i lost yari
i lost stephanie
i lost nikki
i lost jake
i lost bryce
i lost mike (oh god please dont let him be gone........)
i lost bran
i lost zach
i lost oscar
i lost shawn
and i'm sure there's other people.
its not that i've lost these people forever, its just that things will never be the same again.
who's next? please, god, dont let it be bianka.
i dont want to lose the only person who seems to semi-care and understand.
but then again, how can she udnerstand me, when half the time she's opposing me.
how can she even stand me?
maybe she can't.
maybe its all an act.
maybe she really doesnt like me.
maybe shes only being my friend because she doesnt have the heart to tell me that she doesnt like me anymore.
it sounds like bianka. she doesnt have the balls to really hurt anyone.
and its not a bad thing....
why does everythng about me have to be so contradictory?
and why cant i hold my word? is that why i dont trust anyone? because i cant trust myself?
i cant believe anyone because i cant believe myself.
damnit all, i'm worse than pond scum.
lulu is awesome. shes my favorite character. its so sad that chappu died.
however, at least she found someone else: wakka.
someone kill me before this week is over, please.
i wonder what the fear of lonliness is called. i'm going to look it up.....
<3 (but not really)
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