| Current mood: | LIKE BASHING MY HEAD ON A WALL |
| Current music: | the repetitive *f* word in my head to any random tune. |
OK, I LEARNED MY LESSON! I WILL NEVER BE AN ASSHOLE AGAIN!
LoadedXForEffect: Love is such a strange word, hard to believe and yet it is there. Love is said to be forever, but forever always ends. There's no real way to define love. Every way has alredy been defied. Love can not be descibed in words nor actions. Sometimes it can not be descibed with even feelings. The word is thrown around loosely. With no feeling or meaning behind it. It has turned into another nice thing to say. Most love is a lie, a person says they couldn't love somebody more, until the next person comes along. Love becomes an obsession, spending every passing second with them. Never getting your mind off them.
LoadedXForEffect: Love becomes sympathy, not leaving them because you'd feel bad. Love becomes a casualty. When the person is just available. No real feelings for them. Love has become just another word with no real meaning, a word that nobody can figure the real meaning to, and a word that nobody can comprehend. Love is something not to fool around with. Love is broken. Love isn't love. It's just another four letter word.
too true. I've vowed to myself not to use that word lightly a while back when bianka and i talked about it. however, i accidently let it slip a few times.
shame on me.
i just took a shower, and i thought about all the snobby, mean, concieted, rude, and stuck up things that i've said to eric when we've gone out, and i'm truly sorry. maybe he's not the bad one. it's me.
eric, i know you'll prolly never speak to me again, but i just want you to know that i'm sorry. i see now what i've done wrong. i'm really sorry. i miss what we had.
its not me who should be ashamed, its you. and i'm sorry that i was.
anyways, i think i'm fully over him now, and ready to become his friend. unfortunately, he won't accept me as his friend now. I don't blame him, seeing as I damned him to hell. HA.
*listens to techno*
anyways, i was so damn sleepy and my goal today was too fake sick to my mom so she would let me stay home. too bad she didn't fall for it.
i was dead by the time i got to school. i walked all the way down to the badn room and it was locked. i was alone basically the whole time.
i was early for first period. god george is so amazingly attractive........
lit. was dull and stupid.
lunch was great again. i absolutely love sitting with andy bianka and yemi, even though yemi barely gives me a chance to speak myself. O.o
band was alright. michael is really nice. my contact came out and i had my hand raised for like a year before b rob noticed. then i ran as fast as possible down the hall wiht a contact in my hand....
biology was dull. i got a new seat, in front of taylor. ooooooooh what now?! bastard. he was absent today. hate to admit i missed him.
anthro was gay. i cried in anthro. i cried in geometry. but ashleigh is so nice, that i couldnt help but feel better around her.
i drew an awesome picture of mr grant on the board. heheheheh.
after than i went to dr schaner's. *shudder* i hate those people at the front desk. I decided that i deserved five peices of candy for what they did. americans.
then i came home and became a loser.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
as of right now, i'm really fucking screwed:
SallyOfRhapsody: did you see mr frodo today?
SMALLfry770: YES!
SMALLfry770: THRICE!
SallyOfRhapsody: AWESOME
SallyOfRhapsody: NOW
SMALLfry770: but he checked out during second period
SMALLfry770: :*(
SallyOfRhapsody: TAKE A PICTURE
SallyOfRhapsody: aww
SallyOfRhapsody: i'm srry
SallyOfRhapsody: wait,
SallyOfRhapsody: how do you know that?
SallyOfRhapsody: wendi's right.
SallyOfRhapsody: you do stalk him.
SMALLfry770: huh
SallyOfRhapsody: ......
SallyOfRhapsody: -.-;;
SMALLfry770: he';s in the french class right behind mine!
SallyOfRhapsody: oooooooooooooooooooooh
SMALLfry770: i dont stalk him!
SMALLfry770: he's in the class behind mine!
SallyOfRhapsody: mesa didnt know that
SallyOfRhapsody: lol
SMALLfry770: yeah
SMALLfry770: i dont stalk
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: seriously
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: SERIOUS!
SMALLfry770: he is in the french class behind mine
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: and he walks through mine to get to his
SMALLfry770: and i see him in the hallway
SMALLfry770: i dont stalk
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh sure
SMALLfry770: thatd be crazy
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: do you have a TOD yet
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SallyOfRhapsody: oh
SallyOfRhapsody: uh
SallyOfRhapsody: lol
SallyOfRhapsody: it wont let me get one
SallyOfRhapsody: *kills TOD*
SMALLfry770: oh, sorry
SMALLfry770: heh
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: yeah, they are strange like that
SallyOfRhapsody: uh huh
SallyOfRhapsody: sure
SMALLfry770: *yawns*
SMALLfry770: ok, thats getting old
SallyOfRhapsody: too fucking bad
SMALLfry770: heh
SMALLfry770: dude
SMALLfry770: did you turn in an essay
SMALLfry770: today
SallyOfRhapsody: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA no.
SMALLfry770: seriously?
SMALLfry770: wow
SallyOfRhapsody: did i turn in my modern atlas?
SallyOfRhapsody: no.
SMALLfry770: wow
SMALLfry770: why
SallyOfRhapsody: cause i'm an idiot
SMALLfry770: oh
SMALLfry770: oh
SMALLfry770: and lemme guess
SMALLfry770: you are not reading GE?
SallyOfRhapsody: HAHAHAH yeah right.
SMALLfry770: :D
SallyOfRhapsody: however...
SallyOfRhapsody: Random Person: Jessica, are you dropping out of AP World History next semester?
SallyOfRhapsody: HELL FUCKING YEAH
SMALLfry770: oh, why
SMALLfry770: you are brilliant, you just need to try
SMALLfry770: why dont you
SallyOfRhapsody: cus i'm not smart and i'm a slacker
SMALLfry770: heh
SallyOfRhapsody: wtf are sabres?!
SMALLfry770: you know, winterguar sabres
SallyOfRhapsody: *blink*
SMALLfry770: flags, rifles, sabres, etc
SallyOfRhapsody: *blink*
SMALLfry770: it is understood that girls who do sabre (IN WINTERGUARD/COLORGUARD) have cute butts
SMALLfry770: why does no one outside of guard get that
SMALLfry770: what losers
SallyOfRhapsody: maybe because we have better things in life to do than twirl flags.
SMALLfry770: hey
SMALLfry770: hey
SMALLfry770: heynow
SMALLfry770: i could get a lot of ppl angry at you
SMALLfry770: you come and see us then
SallyOfRhapsody: hahaha i dun care
SallyOfRhapsody wants to directly connect.
SMALLfry770: ask emily! she got kicked off!
SMALLfry770: and
SMALLfry770: what do you do aside from slacking off?
SallyOfRhapsody: i'm an author
SallyOfRhapsody: i'm working on two novels
SallyOfRhapsody: and i'm working on a manga right now
SallyOfRhapsody: and btw, ouch, that really hurt.
SallyOfRhapsody: serisouly.
SMALLfry770 has not responded; no connection was made. (If you and your buddy are each behind a different firewall, then the connection will not work; check with your network administrator if you are not sure about your firewall status.).
SMALLfry770: all online?
SallyOfRhapsody: no. i write for my own pleasure, not anyone else's. no one need read my books til they are finished.
SallyOfRhapsody: i'm srry, but i think color gaurd is no better than cheer leading.
SMALLfry770: cheerleading?
SMALLfry770: CHEERLEADING!?!?!?!?
SallyOfRhapsody: (>^_(>O.o)> <----- gay kirby dance
SallyOfRhapsody: HAHAHAHAH
SMALLfry770: no
SMALLfry770: its not cheerleading
SMALLfry770: its anything but
SallyOfRhapsody: blah blah blah
SMALLfry770: have you ever seen us
SMALLfry770: have you ever tried it
SMALLfry770: you cannt make assumptions if you have never done somthing/see it
SMALLfry770: *cannot
SallyOfRhapsody: I can assume that sex is pleasurable, and I've never seen it nor done it.
SallyOfRhapsody: I can assume that being kicked in the balls is painful, and I've never seen it or done it.
SallyOfRhapsody: i dont think you have the right to tell what i can and cant assume
SMALLfry770: i am not talking physical crap that ppl think about
SMALLfry770: i am talking sports
SMALLfry770: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY C/G IS LIKE CHEERLEADING
SallyOfRhapsody: however, you have the right to remain silent
SallyOfRhapsody: you have the right to blink
SallyOfRhapsody: you have the right to inhale and exhale at any rate you choose
SallyOfRhapsody: you have the right to pick your nose and do wahtever you want with it
SallyOfRhapsody: : )
SMALLfry770: but
SMALLfry770: colorguard is a sport
SMALLfry770: its not mindless baffoons cheering
SMALLfry770: chocolatethun8da: I hate people that judge guard. She has no fuckin' idea of how hard it is. I have broken my fingers and toes countless times and had to do shows anyway
SallyOfRhapsody: ok, you both need to chill out
SallyOfRhapsody: whoever the hell the other person is
SallyOfRhapsody: we're all entitled to our own opinions
SallyOfRhapsody: if i'm an ignorant butt, let me be an ignorant butt
SallyOfRhapsody: and chill out
SallyOfRhapsody: smile
SallyOfRhapsody: be happy
SallyOfRhapsody: put a smile one your face
SallyOfRhapsody: put a smile on your face
SallyOfRhapsody: watcha gonna do, oh watcha gonna do?
SallyOfRhapsody: HERSHEY'S
SallyOfRhapsody: AHAHHAHAHAAH
SMALLfry770: i cannot jessica
SallyOfRhapsody: I cannot Michelle either. Its not a talent of mine.
SallyOfRhapsody: : )
SallyOfRhapsody: HAHAHAH,ok, you're friends are all, like, going to jump me tomorrow, right?
SallyOfRhapsody: OoOoOo! The Ignore Kirby Dance! I know this One!
<(X.X<) ... -----> ... (>-.-)> <(-.-<) o 0 O ~~~~
(
SallyOfRhapsody: OOPS
SallyOfRhapsody: didnt finish
SallyOfRhapsody: ah well
SallyOfRhapsody: you get the pic
SallyOfRhapsody: : )
SallyOfRhapsody: aw, c'mon, if you're mad at me at least talk to me. confrontation and communication can solve a lot more problems than you think.
SallyOfRhapsody: if you're not going to talk to me, at least block me so I know how you feel
SallyOfRhapsody: O.o
SallyOfRhapsody: *crickets chirp*
SallyOfRhapsody: *clocks tick*
SallyOfRhapsody: *candles burn out*
SallyOfRhapsody: *monkeys evolve into super monkeys and take over the planet and enslave humans and use color guard as amusement*
SallyOfRhapsody: ooooh, what now?!
SallyOfRhapsody: *grin*
SallyOfRhapsody: I'm just digging myself into deeper shit now, aren't I
SallyOfRhapsody: um, all hail michelle?
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
these people are my friends. i dont want to loose them for something stupid like this.
goddamnit!
i hate myself.
doode, i'm such a fucking hypocrite! i told bianka that she shouldn't assume! GODDAMNIT. ITS TIMES LIKE THESE THAT I WANT TO TAKE THE KNIFE TO MY THROAT AND JUST MAKE IT QUICK AND PAINLESS. I'M SUCH A FUCKING LOUSY HYPOCRITE! I'M LOSING MY FRIENDS ONE BY ONE AND ITS ALL MY FAULT. I WANT TO FUCKING CRY.
its time like these where i really need someone to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be ok......
but theres no one. things aren't going to be ok. i'm fucked.
she's not responding.......
i'm going to go crawl into a corner now and.....die.
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