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Raches (singingoperatic) wrote,
@ 2003-08-06 22:21:00
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    Current mood: blah
    Current music:Spongebob theme song..and Jason Mraz encore

    Ten thousand motherfuckers singing Glory...
    I should change my name to sinningoperatic...because I've been a bad bad girl...I guess it happens once a month where I lose all sensibility to my barely there sexuality. Tim wants me to take "risky" pictures. This happens to be the same week I get my first glance at bonified porn. Porn is rediculous...laughable...why people do it..well money is obvious..but everything else..blah! Yep, that's right we started talking again, and I'm starting to think...because I'm a stupid girl..that that is why he started talking in the first place. My good little Christian boy wants to match my carefully overt sexuality. I liked being the bad girl to the good boy, unfortunately he likes me more bad than good...or he's had the taste of the bad. The bad girl is a secret..and I thought I'd release her to him in person rather than online, then he just becomes one of the minions. Which means that he is put he is put in the same catagory as the guys I have talked to for brief moments in time in the last three years, which means the emotion is repressed. I hope the relationship didn't die on the birthing table...but I guess distance kept us apart, so this is the only way we could connect..but why only through sex?
    On the parent front we're either content or fighting..I hate fighting...I want to install a no fighting rule for the last week I'm home...I do not like not getting along them.
    Tomorrow is the first of the last three times we put on Picasso at the Lapin Agile.
    I am bitter about things, but I know that is because I am leaving.
    Katie told me not to worry about knowing things about people, because soon enough I will be in Fort Worth and it will all be irrevalent...I knew I lost Amy, I guess at some point I need to stop pretending and grieve. In all seriousness, when you lose a friend a part of you dies, and the whole in my heart needs to start healing..because pretending only makes the hole grow, because you try to stretch out a wound...like the one on my knee.
    I am leaving for college with my true friends intact, and that should be celebrated...
    Tomorrow is nannying woohoo! No sarcasm for the children
    Spongebob squarepants spongebob squarepants..spongybob squarepants! Glooooorrry alleluia Amen!- Jason Mraz



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