|Current mood:|| uncomfortable|
|Current music:||I'm Like A Bird-Nelly Furtado|
Welcome to College, Now Go Screw Yourself!
So, I'm getting kicked out of college before I have even taken a class...Evidently TCU does not appreicate the fact that I hate Spanish and that I am no good at math. I have to write detailed explanations for why I failed Pre-Cal and why I barely passed the last semester of Spanish Three...Well, I skipped Spanish whenever I could to sit in AP European History...and umm...I believe my average in Algebra II was a 73...so failing Pre-Cal? Not that big of a jump considering 75% of the kids who take Pre-Cal at GHS fail!
BLAH!!! I just fucking want to go to college without something happening! I understand that not everyone has things handed to them on silver platters, but I have never had anything easy in my life...ever...I have had to fight tooth and nail for everything. Yes, I am still alive, and more intellegent for it...but I'm also world weary, cynical, and fighting back depression. Mental illness comes to most people in adulthood, and the chemicals in my body decided to be imbalanced the month before I move into the college that is pissed at me right now. I cried on Thursday, I was upset, but I didn't know why..I mean I know why..I'm not getting along with my parents...I'm in a play, but almost completely not satisfied, I am a nanny for eleven hours getting paid $5.15 an hour...and I'm losing friends as our make-up fades and our true feelings come out.
Two weeks ago I couldn't stop smiling...last night I was smiling, I was with Greg, Leigh Ann, Eric and Sandi...I love being with my friends, I love being with them than any other experience in the world! No amount of chemicals could ever match the high I get off of them. Tonight is Katie's birthday, we're going to Carlos and Charlie's..and I am so excited! I have to go get her a present though...which I don't know how that is exactly going to work...I have to be at play practice at 3..I can leave at 7...and it is 1:30 and I haven't eaten lunch yet. Though it smells good. DAMN! I feel like banging my head on the table, although I do not understand what good that would do at all.
Surviving isn't the hard part...it's the realization that you can survive that is.
"Industrial Revolution style....it's like Manchester, England!"-Eric