4 wheels and 1 cock
Cars. Fucking cars. No wait, drivers. Fucking drivers. I don't drive, I don't want to and don't plan to, there's too many resource wasting, atmosphere polluting, life threatening cars out here and I don't want to own one of them. But it's the drivers that really piss me off. I cycle, this means I'm considered (if I'm considered at all) to be somewhat of a annoyance. It's a pretty safe bet that on my journey to work a driver will try to kill me. That's right, kill me. 'Cos I'm on a bike, a FUCKING BIKE, not an armoured tank. When a driver cuts me up or swings open the car door with out looking when they've pulled into the side of the road they are risking my life. Cars, you'll find, are just a bit bigger, heavier and faster than your average bicycle, this doesn't mean cyclists should get off the fucking road and get out of the fucking way, it means drivers should pay some fucking attention. Lately I've been getting annoyed at how many drivers view traffic lights as some sort of vague guide rather than strict rules, the amount of drivers that see the lights change to orange and see this is the signal to speed up because they don't want to have to stop for the 30 seconds or so pedestrians are given to cross the road is amazing. No matter how far away that car is, orange light, rev up and fly over the zebra crossing as the lights changed to red.... you fuckers. I love to see traffic wardens hand out tickets, fucking love it. There's these things called double yellow lines, even a non-driver such as myself has heard of them, if you park a car on them it's illegal (no matter where those lines are, it may seem unfair, but if those lines are there, you can't park there), it really is. How many ignorant stupid fuckers park illegally and then get angry because they've been given a ticket? It's pathetic to hear some self righteous arsehole driver whine 'cos they got the ticket they fucking deserved.
And there's a special circle of hell reserved for people who drive and use their mobile phones. Guess what, I hate mobile phones, I'm sure I'll go into it in more detail in an other post, but for now let me just say that people who drive whilst talking to someone on the phone should die, preferably by driving directly into someone else driving and talking onto the phone, if they manage to take out some idiot complaining about their parking ticket then even better.