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Never find nobody like me (shanweavx) wrote,
@ 2005-02-15 18:28:00
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    breakdown..
    yanno i really feel the fucking need to write in this peice before i have an emotional breakdown you know i really hate when people call you up for the simple fact of they need weed, listen people dont bother cause if i knew where it was at i wouldnt tell you anyways because you never call me anymore and your expecting me to do you a favor? yeah maybe i should since it will kill you faster but i will have no part in it and im sick of fucking being nice. yeah well maybe im not nice but caring and going out of my way to do shit for other people. ive had enough im not going to fucking know you or see you again once we fucking graduate why bend over backwards for nothing? can you answer me that? i mean yeah you do good you recieve good but that just aint happening for me the last..uh 16 years? and oh i already called your boyfriend before i called you. oh so help me god. i fucking cant take it. i wish me and shawn could just move off to a deserted island< just the two of us because i would be the fucking happiest carefree bitch you'd ever meet. but you wouldnt meet me cause it would just be me and him. seeeee thats the catch. arite so anyways back to my bipolar moment * no im not bipolar * but it just works out holy shit i have to do like 4 reports and i just continue to procatonate .. why because shawns out and im sitting here in so much pain in my mouth and fuckin ahh people are supposed to be my FRIENDS but only can be my friend when they need something fuckin call me for drugs yea true if you were my friend you know that shit is crazy i like to be drug free/ uh kays getting out soon i hope to god on everything i have her parents let me see her. i wont dare let her look at another drug and she'll even help me stay clean looking and realizing that night i could've ended in impatient just as well but i didn't. god gave me a second chance to realize it wasnt my time cause well he knows i can get the fuck outta this and i try and try but somehow i dont know KAY i miss you so much/ i swear on everything i dont care if your parents press charges on me the day you get out me and kristina are at your door waiting for you. simple as that. anyways im thinkin about calling kays mom or something or stopping by her house. yanno say hi or hey listen i love your daughter in a non gay way but i need her friendhip again please im not a drug addict i wont influence her in anyway. but do you know how hard that is? pretty hard. cruz can help i gotta talk to her. ah fuck gettin back to now in the moment shawn your an asshole does it take 5 and a half hours to drive 10 min to eckerds or 20 to walmart and get a fuckin stuffed animal for your mom and then 10 or 20 min back home holy shit eMoTiNal Breakdown is coming on and i just want a cigertte so bad but its gonna hurt my mouth and i gotta quit or i cant go on birth control says the madre. ah fuck it all fuck you fuck everything and everybody im out like steve stout. whoever that is

    babyyyyyyy!!!


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