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Shan Marie-Kahololani Sossamon (shan_sossaman) wrote,
@ 2003-07-07 17:22:00
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    Current mood:accomplished
    Current music:I'm Just A Kid // Simple Plan

    so am I still waiting?
    My mind is drawing a blank right now as I am sitting here in Los Angeles. For the love of God, why am I in Los Angeles? I was invited to attend the Warped Tour, that is why. I got here a few days early and now I am sitting in this hotel room at Four Seasons typing away on this old laptop computer of mine.

    I suppose it was my fault for letting him talk me into this and I should be in Hawaii right now walking a long the shoreline and dipping my feet in the water. Why, oh why do I let guys get the best of me? Is it their charm? Their wit? I am still anticipating the answer to this question.

    And why are all the good ones gone?

    The good ones are either gay or taken. That is just how the story goes.

    Too bad I'm not up to Tim Pagnotta's par. Last time I ran into him a few months back, we had a good time and hit it off really well. But he ended the evening with a

    "lets go back to my place"

    and as much as I wanted to say yes, as much as my mind wanted to say yes and just go have him take me, my heart said no. I wanted him to take me and ravage me because that is how much I craved the warmth of another person. Another's touch. Another's lips pressed against mine.

    But I said no. And now I think he hates me for that because as soon as I said no he started going off about needing to be somewhere. I left his party that he was having even though he tried to talk me into staying. I left and really didn't bother looking back.

    Now I know that if I would have taken that dive, he would have looked at me now as just another pretty face in a room full of whores. And I bet that's all I was to him. Just one of his random fucks. One of the many for him and as his reputation goes.

    Ah, enough of the emo-ness!

    My friends from Authority Zero should be giving me a ring in a few minutes to tell me what's the dilly. I really can't wait to get aquainted with a lot of the bands on the Warped Tour. My other passion is photography and I hope to take some really great pix. Who knows what may come out of this, all I hope is that I have fun and have a great time. Maybe make some new friends and what not.

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