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Hey hey there. I'm sorry I haven't written in ages. I have been wondering lately why I haven't wanted to blog, and I think I know the main reason: I am having a web-life crisis. Which is probably like having a mid-life crisis, only it is about my "life" on the Internet. Considering that you can get a "lifetime achievement" blog award after only blogging for 5 years, I figure that perhaps my web-life crisis was imminent. As our world gets bigger and bigger, I find that I want to make myself smaller and smaller. There are so many ways to make yourself heard these days- blogs, YouTube, Facebook...heck, you can even "define" yourself on Wikipedia. So lately, I have been confused about what I am saying, and why I am saying it, and if anyone is listening/reading at all. I also wonder whether I really want people to read what I am thinking about. I mean, like other people, I don't like the thought of bumping into certain people at the local shops...do I have to worry about bumping into them in cyberspace, too? I am not one of those people who socialises on the Internet. I think I was born a bit too late...I always wish I was alive in the sixties, when you had to meet someone at a specific place at a specific time, instead of sending a text that says, "im running l8, so sori, b there soon!!!!!" When if you wanted to see them, you went to their house, or actually picked up the phone and called them. These days, I find myself trying to pull my world around me tightly, like a blanket. I am trying to pull people closer, so that I can see them and hear them breathe. So that I can know if they are really laughing out loud, instead of spurting out "LOL!!!!!!". That said, I am a total fan of the Internet, and I think it has bred a lot of creativity and freedom. I love reading about other people's lives, and expanding my knowledge. I don't want to diss something which has allowed me to have a voice on a grander scale than I could have ever imagined. I think I am just feeling a bit lost in cyberspace at the moment. When everyone starts to crowd into the playground, it's easy to sneak off into a corner and pretend that I'm alone. So many people have an Internet voice and presence now. I worry that maybe my voice doesn't sing enough, or it's too quiet, or too whiney. I don't know. Anyways, I'm not quitting my blog, I'm just feeling pretty confused at the moment. Gee, it's enough that we struggle with our identities in the real world...there's so much to think about, like our religion, occupation, sexuality, marital status. And now, our Net identity is just another thing to add to the bell jar. Post a comment in response: |
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