| Current mood: |  confused |
Boy Problems
Okay i think that i have written since i was in WHite Pines, if not here on my othere one then. i was in Covenant on New YEars day for a kidney infection, then back 2 days later bacause of my kidney stones. i was there for 2 days with an iv in my hand and everything.. they gave me morphine and it did nothing. it made me kind of silly though. right now i feel kind of smothered by tim and i want to be with othere people. i love tim with all of my heart and soul, but i think that i need a break. i want Paul, and matt and a whole bunch of other guys. i look and i want to be with so many other people but i cant because i am tied down. im 15 fucking years old i dont need to fucking be with one person...how will i know what true love is if i am only with one person. I WONT!!!!! i dont know what to do though because i am leading Paul on and thats not right. i am doing the same thing to Paul and Tim that AAron did to me and Liza and Shay. and that was the worst feeling in the world, so i dont want anyone else to feel that way, but i think that is what i am doing. the only thing is neither of them know that i have feelings for the other. Its so weird to think that one day i m ight not be with tim, and i could be with Paul or someone that i dont even know. i dont know if i even want to be with anyone.
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