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Craving Something Lost (scoblows4sure) wrote,
@ 2005-02-03 16:39:00
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    Current mood: contemplative

    So...I went shopping the other first Cali grocery store experience. And what did I learn? Things cost bank here! I have never seen a can of store-brand green beans cost a buck. Back home, we only pay like .$46, and that's the way it should be. As I walked down the other isles, I found that every flippin' thing in the store cost more than at home or in Chigago, and by a lot. So silly. Anyway, to make a long story short, I called my mom and complained, and I think I got hooked up with a care package, *big smile*.

    This week I was lucky to get enough time to contact a good deal of my friends and see how they were doing. One thing that is important to me is that the people in my life understand how much they mean. I think it's the simple things that can remind a person of that, therefore, I am going to make every effort to make sure that they don't feel blown off. That's an awful feeling. I think at times we all forget that each person in our lives brings us something special and unique. I don't want my precious schedule to ever be priority over my family or my friends, like I have let it be in the past. I must add though, in all honesty, that I have been pondering how much one should keep reaching out to people who don't seem to reach back. I feel like in the past, I have let go of certain friendships because I felt discouraged. I felt like I was waisting my time, and theirs for that matter, trying to hang on to something that didn't hold the same meaning anymore. So, when do you reach the point where you just realize that you aren't as important to someone as they are to you, and that's the way it's going to be? And when you come to that realization, how do you handle it? To me, it seems rather selfish to ask to be given what you give. Afterall, is that how Christ taught us to love? No. Christ taught us to have patience, compassion, and grace. He taught us to humble ourselves. And futhermore, I can't stand the idea of giving up on something so important. I don't want to give up on my family. I don't want to give up on my friends. Most importantly, I don't want to give up on myself again. I just want to be on the same page like we were before, and I don't, DON'T want to be hurtful with my frustration. That solves nothing, and only causes regret. But hey, that's why I started writting in here again. You can't hurt a machine.

    I just want to add that I have been feeling very close to God, and I don't want that to go away either. So I have started a habit of reading my Bible every moring over breakfast. It's so important to be in the Word, because it offers so much guidence and reassurance. Oh, and speaking of the roomie went out on a date with a Mormon the other night. He basically told her (a Catholic) that he didnt seriously date anyone outside of his religion. However, they went through with the date, and guess what he gave her as a gift? Come on...think outside the box...THE BOOK OF MORMAN! To say the least, she wasn't impressed, but nevertheless, it was quite entertaining to the rest of us. I'm actually interested in reading it. Not because I intend, in any way, to adopt its concepts, but I just want to know what they believe. I mean, there are a lot of Mormans out there, and I should know what they practice. I know where I stand. Hmmm...I don't know, though...maybe I would just make fun of it. Probably.

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