D.Con (scarface527) wrote, @ 2004-02-11 17:00:00

I've made a conscious decision to end all of my journaling when high school is over. I need to be a person on my own, of independent means. I can't count on anything but myself, and I think LJ, DJ and Blurty are all babying culprits. Your friends support you, and you think you can count on those things as a way of saying something difficult.
I think of Jeff, and that makes me think of possibilities. Things I could have, but have decided not to have. Things I've wanted, but once I have them, I deny them. He is beautiful. JUst goddamn beautiful.
1. My mom loves him
2. Everyone else loves him
3. He is asuch a sweetheart.
4. I have fun with him.
5. I like how scratchy his stubble is against my cheeks.
6. I like cuddling with him, and being a part of something. I like the way I feel when I'm with him. Small, protected and lovely.
7. He is crying out for somebody to take care of him.

But do I want to do that? I cannot imagine Jeff being a real adult without someone to take care of him.
My mom met my dad in her junior year. She liked him, but nothing happened until she was about 19 or 20. They've been married almost 30 years.
He is stable. But now I think he doesn't want me. Or I think I don't want him. *Such is life*

*Oh my love
My Darling, I've hungered for your touch.
Alone, only time, and time goes by
*So slowly--and time can do so much
Are you still mine?
*I need your love
I need your love
God, speed your love
toooo the me!
*Lonely rivers flow
to the sea, to the sea.
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me*
Whooooa, my love, my darling
*I've hungered, HUNGERED for your touch
oh my
Hold me tight*
And time goes by, so slowly, and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love, come to me~

Oh, sentimental waxing of The Righteous Brothers.
And now, for Funny Valentine.

*My Funny Valentine
Sweet, comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
*Your looks are laughable
Un photographable, yet you're my favorite work of art.
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
*But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me.
Stay little Valentine, stay!
*Each day is Valentine's day.
(that wasn't Jeff. that's for me. I feel ugly right now.)

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