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The Lord does give-The Lord does take (scanningpink) wrote,
@ 2003-05-07 21:28:00
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    Current mood: sad
    Current music:Pete Yorn - Lose You

    Robbie and his drama.
    Hmmm. Today just gets worse and worse. I'm guessing I probably should put this entry as 'private' but, I would only do that because I don't want Robbie to see it. But, I'm sure he'd find a way to see it anyway (like he did with my other ones).

    Well, the whole stupid Gabriel thing is bothering me. No, I'm not jealous, so all of you get that out of your minds. Robbie didn't even want to talk to me today. The only time he remotely seemed like he did was second hour. And that's probably only because I was sitting behind him. At lunch, he walked around with Gabriel. The only time he said a word to me then was he mouthed "what's wrong?" Yeah. Great. Didn't even come over to find out what was really wrong. By the way, it wasn't the fact that he was walking with Gabriel. Then, I saw him before sixth hour. I went up to him and tried to talk to him. But, he said he had to go the other way and then just started walking around and talking to Janelle. THEN, I called him around 3:30 because I knew he wouldn't dare want to call me! And he said he'd call me back. He never did. So, I called again around 8:30 or something. He said he'd call back after he got a shower. He still hasn't called back and it's 9:15. Looks like I'm out of the picture. You know. I'm supposedly his best friend. Isn't your best friend supposed to come before some guy you just met a couple of days ago? Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being selfish or whatever again. I don't know. I wouldn't do that to him if I were to go out with someone. I'd still call him a lot and talk to him at school. Guess it's not the same for him. :(

    Some good friend I am. That one of my best friends picks to talk to some guy over me. Does that make me the bad friend or him? Could I be the one that made him not want to talk to me? Or is he just being mean or whatever you want to call it? I don't know.

    And, I guess Jesse is the only one who understands what's going on here. She went through this before. And Robbie, weren't you the one saying that Dan was an asshole for doing that to Jesse? You know, just pretty much ignoring her or whatever? Hmmm. I don't know.

    I know you don't want to talk to me. And I know you get like this about ever guy you like. You know, the whole thing where you go on and on and on about how great they are and all that good stuff. So, I'll just wait 'til you see something remotely good in me and feel that you would want to talk to me again before I go calling you anymore. I don't want to be up your ass or anything by calling you all the time. I know you wouldn't want that either. No one would. I just want to talk though. I mean, come on Robbie. Don't you care the least bit that I'm upset? Not even about this. But, even Mike could notice right away that something was wrong. You don't seem to care about me at all. You won't call back. You don't care that I'm sad. Nothing. You're too wrapped up in Gabriel to see any of it. I hope that's what it is anyway.

    And you know, Robbie, when I told you that the reason I called last night was because I needed to talk to you about something and all you could say back was "fuck you." That hurt. I seriously needed to talk to someone and all you can do is flick me off and yell "fuck you" back.

    I know, you're probably going to be mad at me for this or whatever. But, don't talk to me if you don't want. Because I know that's probably what you're going to do is not talk to me because of this. Thanks.

    Remember, you said it back that you wouldn't just kick me out of the way if you started going out with someone else. I understand if you do, because that's just you to get totally infactuated with the person you like. But, you could at least show a little concern.

    I know I may be going to far with this, but it's just the way I feel and I can't help the way I feel.

    --End Robbie Message-- ....heh.

    [jess]



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