The Golden Globes
I was watching the Golden Globes last night when I realized that "Lord of the Rings" was a pretty good movie. The only thing that bothered me, was that Frodo hung onto the ring for so long. As a professional thief/mercenary, I know that one never hangs onto something for very long when it is as hot as that ring obviously was. Everybody was coming after Frodo. I guess he didn't know some of the people that I do. If it was me, I would have sold that thing to the highest bidder.
If anyone reading this, happens to know where my former henchman, "Machete" is contact me immediately. That long-haired son of a bitch has been going around spearding rumors about me and my physique. Zaran claims to not know where he is. All I know is that all of the many women that have had the honor of being with know that Batroc is no "short, quick finisher."
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