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I got to see Chris last night!!! :D I am so happy!!! God, how could I ever want to break up with him? It feels so good to be with him, just laying quietly on top of him, my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat... To kiss him is like drinking of the world's sweetest wine and it intoxicates you like the world's strongest liquor... You just get lost in his kiss... Unable to pull away for fear that you may fall... And to be held in his arms... His strong hands laid pressing so gently against your back... It's as if laying on a cloud... You're floating... Enveloped in his embrace... Your body yearns to press against his, to feel him against you... To talk to him brings a smile to your face... And to hear him laugh, makes the sun shine brighter on your day... And then, to hear his deep sultry voice whisper ever so softly into your ear "I love you."... It makes your heart melt... But, you wouldn't know about that... You're not with him... Its not you who lays your head upon his chest, or presses your lips to his... Nor is it you who is wrapped in his arms, your body so close to his... And your day is not made better by simply hearing his voice... And you do not experience the ecstasy in hearing him say "I love you." I do... I've felt it all and I've lost it all... But, I've got it back... It is hell without it... You truly do fall without his strong arms and passionate kisses... Only tears roll down your face and clouds hover over your day when you hear his voice and his laugh because you know he isn't your's... And your heart, stays stiff and cold, because he doesn't say "I love you," you feel the greatest pain in your chest when you even think about it... Remembering his velvet whisper of those precious words... I cherish every beat of his heart... Every kiss and every hug... Every word and every laugh... And every second it takes him to say "I love you."... I know I have him now and I know, I can lose him in the blink of an eye... It's been a little over two months and I never dreamt in all my life I'd love someone as much as I love him... Love, to me, was incomprehensible, a feeling unknown in my world... Yes, I have, for many years, had the word in my life... Those four little letters sliding off the lips of others as if oiled... But the meaning behind them, the feeling... The caring, the worrying, the silly curiosities, getting through rough times, wanting to be together inspite of the argument last night, and also, I think a word people don't realize goes with love... Lust, a lust for him, for his mind, for his body, and a lust to be able to peek into his soul... Call it a lust, a passionate desire to get to know him in anyway you can... A desire to feel his presence in the most profound ways... *Le sigh* Enough of my ongoing rambling about my boyfriend... I've got to get ready for school... Post a comment in response: |
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