well today started out really cool. Missy and I got our nails done and then we were headed towards Sarahs afterwards.
Everything was really cool and rad and neato and then Lili called me. She told me that Myles can't go to prom with me. she seemed really anal towards me too. I can't take this anymore.. What the fuck is with this. I knew this was gonna happen and i cant even take it.
Im sitting here listening to a depressing song, in my little dress. The strap is falling down, making me feel like a distressed little girl. My flowers on the crasage Noah's friend Thomas gave me out of pity, are wilting.I m tying not to cry because my make-up will run down my face. Maybe I should just cry and then run to Janis and tell her that she did this to me. Grr. I want to destroy something right now. Im doing everything i can too not sry right now but its not working becasue the first tear just ran down my cheek.
I miss charles like mad. I want him so bad. I don't understand why though. Maybe because of how safe I felt in his arms, how i felt he will always be with me. im so in love with him and it hurts. It hurts me to think of him with another girl. I want to cry my eyes out and run to him. I don't know if anyone can understand how I feel. I wish I could just tell him how much I loved him. I don't know what to do. I feel that perhaps he just wantsmy body, not me. And I don't understand why he would want it though. I feel so ugly, and stupid.
I cant deal with this anymore.
Im going out of my mind. Everyone is so happy and I am so sad. I want to die now.
But i dont think i shall. Ill wait and see if things get better.
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