|Current mood:|| anxious|
Today was a good day...for once. I have been alone and in my room just trying to get my shit done. Made myself sick by trying to fit in some partying with all this work...ugh. I was so depressed the other day I broke down to tears again. What the fuck am I doing with my life?
I think I am getting back into I-need-a-boyfriend mode again, shit. I thought I was done with this! this weekend was the choir retreat and, yes, I am fully admitted to having Jew fever. For some odd reason Jewish boys just drive me up the wall...the good way that is. Gabe Wyner is the new one...well not so new. I always agknowledged his kindness and his smarts and his good voice...but I guess I never really put them together until this weekend; but he is the perfect guy! I hope Melony sees it too. -sigh-
I promised myself I would make this short so I can go to bed.
there is this vacume it feels like. And it makes me realize that is has been 4 years since I have felt the joy of being in love. I was playing with it in WM&Opera today. A couple of people were doing a love scene and I was faking it in myself...and it hit me, and I miss it. This combined with my new found crush with "the perfect guy" (awwwww my god he sounded like a audio orgasm in class today) added to the epic love dreams that I keep having (including the hottie from Scrubbs) leads to a new found choking sensation that borders on nerves and feels like I have to kiss someone or I will die.
arg. I am currently talking to Gabri and I am half considering inviting him over to hook up, simply to get this feeling to go away. maybe it is just the wine talking. I need to go to bed, or go to Austria...or both!