|Current mood:|| lonely|
|Current music:||dead kennedys - terminal preppie|
holy shit! it has been so long since i have 'updated' this thing. i dont even remeber the last time i did.. i dont care. nothing has happened really, up until this week. other than that concet at bridge water. that was fun as shit.. but nothing really grwat happened.....ok so this week, i told krystal the fuck off and she got fro to be an ass to me and hes like will you drop it!? and im like fuck you i would have never talked to you if you wouldnt have imd me. fucking stupid asshole. but anywayts, thursday eryn and kim walked over here. then my mom drove them and me back and we chilled for a while.. me and eryn ate dog ciscuts with coffee mate. hah were cool.. then kimwas like why dont we smoke catnip? hahah so we ent downstairs and eryn rolled a catnip joint then kims step-mom came home. and raelyn called we told raelyn to come over and smoke with us. so she did. hah... that was fucking great. i actually got a buzz from it. so then we sat here and talked about fucking. and i was like dude.. one time when i was high i poped my cherry with a pool toy! it was this big around and pointy! and we all sat there and laughed out asses off.. . wow that was fun. then i went home and alll was well. friday was blah.. (i think... i dont remember friday.) oh yeah! i was sleping all friday! then i got upo real early saturday. talked to lauren and we decieded we wanted to go somewhere. so we heard that there was a lo-dust concert but it ws 21+ so then we were like.... shit so lauren talked to rj and found that trhere was a code green show that night too.. so we went to that. we were lonely cause jeffy said he was comming but he didnt show up. :( so we were like fuck it were guna have fun anyways. and we just started dancing. that was fun shit. lauren was trippin off her ass. and i was sober. but oh well... the bassist was hot. heee i liked him. i want him to teach me how to play. but anyways. at the end of the concert we went up and gave the bassist money cause he had the jar. he was really nice. his name is terry. w found out that hes friends with kevin colona. we though that was pretty cool. so we talked for a while, were probablly going to another on eof their gigs at laga. a week from today. i duno yet though. it sounds fun.. i wana get to know that terry better. yes i do. *wink wink* but anyway, i wen t over to laurens house after the show and spent the night. we got high... even though i said i quit. i always quit. then i have some. oh well.. i wasnt even hoigh.. i was a lil buzzed. it takes sooo much for me to get high. so then i came home and here i am now. with the hiccups. and some failed attempts at cheering snyder up.... god i wish he was happy.. he was so much easier to talk to.. i duno... i kinda like him and it hurts me to see him like that. i try so hard to cheer him up. it never works. like today i was like snyder, if you EVER need anyhting i am here. and hes like dont worry about it i have given up. and im like well, if you change your mind i mean it and hes like alright. so then i was all happy. but yeah.... i still like monky.. after all this time....... i still do... could it be love? god i hope not. i mean, he is so happy with brittany... i dont wana ruin that... just because im selfish... god i am so fucking torn over guys. this is the crossraods of my life.. to live or not to live ya know... im just so alone........ well.. im done complaining... peace.