| Current mood: |  confused |
| Current music: | Black Eyed Peas-"Where is the Love" |
uh no more love?
::sighs deeply then gets up from her bed and walks slowly to her computer, sitting down at the chair and staring blankly at the screen::
I have been thinking about this thought through the whole day and have finally reached a conclusion. I am not going to be in any of the weddings ::sighs:: It’s not because I don’t like any of you people ::laughs nervously:: I just have a grudge against them. You see, when I was a little girl I used to dream about my father walking me down the asile while telling me that I look beautiful and that he was proud of me. Then I would look over and see my mother crying out of happiness and then see my brothers face. His face would be lit up with a smile ::smiles a little:: But none of that will ever happen now. My father hates me, and my mother and brother are gone. ::sniffles:: and I know that sounds stupid….to make matters worse, once I start thinking about that idea I start thinking about how anybody I ever loved always leaves me…like Joel…I wanted to try to patch things up with him…but he just doesn’t want a relationship right now even though he loves me ::rolls eyes:: I’ll believe that when pink and blue monkeys rule the Earth. I just don’t understand how he can sit there and lie straight to my face ::looks down:: I wasn’t lying to him when I told him that I loved him….I really did/do ::sighs again:: but sooner or later I have to get over him…though I will never be completely over him…I can try to be. Evan and I are no longer going out…short lived huh? Were just make-out buddies ::giggles softly:: David is the only one who knows who I love right now ::smiles weakly:: I love David ::nods:: he is such a sweetheart to me…I <3 him…more than I <3 P-dawg and his erm back problems ew. I would really like to talk to Benji ::sighs:: My dad just came in here like ten minutes ago telling me that I’m a “dirty little slut who needs to wear longer shirts because Itis showing too much midriff and that I cannot wear a hat” or something shitty like that. I just wish somebody would be there to hold me sloe at night and have me wake up to thieir smiling face and kiss them gently on the lips and lay with them for a while ::smiles weakly:: Well I’m gonna go to sleep in my bed now…alone…I would like my rule breaking butthole to come with me too :x
~*Sam*~
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