| Current mood: |  bitchy |
| Current music: | Evanescence-"Missing" |
I feel pissed off
::sniffles:: You know...I thought I was over the whole Billy and Joel thing...but I'm not. It hurts me too much to re-read what Joel and Billy said to eachother. I mean when I asked Joel about it he just said "oh dont throw that in my face when you fucking kissed Seb"....but Joel...this is different...Seb and I were drunk...but you and Billy...you two knew what you were doing. That hurts ten times worse even saying it out loud. I mean when we first met I told you that I was scared to death about falling in love because sooner or later you would have to crash. I dont want us to crash Joel....I know I said this many times before but...I love you too much to let you go. Besides you promised me that we would always be friends...no matter what. You also promised me that you could never and would never hurt me...I guess that was a lie...but then again I think I promised it too....and I'm sorry. I told you a million times before how sorry I was about the drunken kiss incident....but blah! It's like you dont trust me anymore...and a relationship is built on trust Joel. I mean basicly you told me that we were now "even"...I had hurt you and you had hurt me...but I never told Seb I was trying to fall in love with him ::sighs:: I just wish you were around more...instead of being there for me for five or ten minutes then rushing off...I know your bust but still....I just wish you were around more. And then there is Billy ::shakes head while looking down:: Billy is like my best friend almost...I can go to him when I need good advice but now....now I dont know. After all that shit he said to me I feel like when I talk to him I'm talking to a completly different person...and that hurts me too. I mean he rants and raves about how I ruined his and Benji's marriage....I dont know but I'm beginning to think thats true...I never ment to Billy and I'm sorry. Benji...I realy need to talk to you...you will help me out if you would just come home damnit! Well I'm gonna go now...I'll talk to all of you later....night ::waves slightly::
~*Sam*~
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