| Current mood: | -+-[+?] |
| Current music: | Juno Soundtrack |
You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day.
It's only because it's frustrating.
I know.
You don't
&it aggravates me.
This word 'childish'
I've seen it so much lately.
Overrated
If you didn't know, the 'in-word' is now hypocrit
&as I've said,
Or maybe I haven't.
It's only because of you beautiful... Only because of you.
I know
You don't
I want you to
I want you to
I want you to
but I care too much for him//
There's no need for words
or action
or suit
Only the simple attribute of...
Well,
we all haven't been honest, now have we?
&it's when there's only one being blamed-
You know
every other
party
is guilty.
&taking cronies down in lies
Do they know
Do they know
they are scapegoats for you've very own
personnal insecurities
&lack of control of yourself.
&I wonder how much she's around anymore.
The words cunt having breezed by.
Yes,
hypocrit is the new in word.
&Really, it's this whole having no control issue.
Give yourself a small percentage
only advantage to push me that one last inch to the edge.
But you in no way shape or form helped me there.
Being underestimated is now a talent,
I'm finding.
I like it.
Sorry for the blood spatter on the walls
"it keeps me at bay"
&you,
Does it make semse to say I'm giving in but prepared?
Prepared isn't wht eowrd I'm looking for
but,
no one knows what I'm sayihng anyways so please,
imply imply imply
imply
imply
&It's as if.... you want to be Gigantic to those you see weaker. Or lower. Or evnvious of.
Plague.
Albert Camus.
You are everything I've never been. Wanted to act. Yet those are things you bury in your tummy & make you feel as if you could die. But it subsides. You.Dont.Do.It.
&it's just the lies really & how degrading you make those whom you call family.
Underestimation.
I.Am.Stupid.
No intuition.
Analyzation- is my downfall.
&I've got every move, thought pattern, intention, lust-
pinpointed,
just in case.
You know.
Checkmate.
&I've found the art
&beauty
in being underestimated.
It's just the frustration part
I'm hung-up on
Let me finish this drink,
&everything's zen.
Maybe Sway by Cold Chamber shouldn't be playing in the store...
Klonopin says- meh.
Whiskey says- meh
Bloody knuckles say- meh
Zolofy says- meh
Yeah you grow out of this.
It's probably when I laughed the most.
-bed wetters-
WTF moments
We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.
- Stephen Colbert
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut
It's almost disconnected.
&when, my body goes from me
&my control
I hear things
&I begin to care
&become selfish
&narscistic
I don't know which I want.
Which life.
Emotion
or
recluse on terms
right now
Oasis playing throughout the store
&Cameron camping
&his house to my lonesome
It would be so easy to walk
right out of here
If my mug was full agian//
&I said, "I need to weigh out if this baggage is worth taking on with the weight I carry already"
6 months Halloween
&I blame it on the smaller towns.
We need to run
You need to breathe in
I have Cameron psyched going to Chicago.
Just to exerience it.
Vacation it.
Take it in.
Look, chin up a like tourist.
iceskate outside in the park.
Ride the train, no cabs needed.
A real club.
Real pizza.
Real italian.
&my family... all around good times.
Aunt Gail is naughty with that blender.
If I can get time off.
Work fits in every conversation now at some point. Seriously.
It's me, you guys.
Me- responsible.
For everything.
For things I don't even know exist.
I'm tyring to be years ahead here.
Leave.Me.Be.
3 paychecks-
would be your gross pay.
Tonight will be strange.
I will unlock the door to what I've called home for awhile now.
&there will be no Gressette man turing to me with that goofy wide eyed look
Only a dim kitchen light...
&a lingering scent & an empty bed.
Until tomorrow.
Lizz.
Lizz.
Lizz.
Fits these weird shaped peices all in the wrong places but they feel good
&right
&comfortable
&we understand.
The bathroom floor.
The sharp edges.
The loss of mind.
&we can hold one another.
the.only.other.female.i.trust.
Fated past you thought paths would break.
My whiskey is gone.
There is a door to the bar in my store.
waltz waltz waltz
Hi, Richard.
Hi, Karla.
-smoke break-
Mom is worried.
It's... not funny...
I don't know what it is.
But after 22 years she's finally worried and determined to find help for me.
As if it's taken 9 years for her to realize it's not teenage angst
of a shitty personality.
Which, I understand the difficulty.
It comes.
It goes.
Passed off as a bad week.
Month.
Days.
Whatever.
"I think you just need to learn a way to cope."
mhm.
I have.
No new scars.
Blood is clean.
well.
Alcohol is relative.
It's social.
It's the Hills.
It's MTV.
It's KsE tour.
It's the weekend.
It's after work relief.
It's the mere fact-
well,
listen-
or rather, don't.
It passes. Maybe not completely.
but life's too short.
Fucking walk on.
Run.
I need to get out of here.
I think I'm going to burst,
something uncomfortable within me
something destructive
sometime tired
something
Oh, Stephanie-
Just Grow Up.
Completely shocked the only smile & laugh I would get today was from one of those-
doomed.
&taking anyone down with them as they can.
This is all they know.
Cheating & proclaiming love.
Running, returning
Lying
hiding
speaking
Unnerved, my favorite.
I need to get out of here.
Something's going to happen tonight.
Come play?
I bet you're pretty when you scream//
Cleaning house
Jim Beam
Oh, right- I need to pick up mixers on the way home.
I'm not editting. Drunk. Rxed.
A 671 one number just buzzed in.
Do you know what a party is?
Just invite me.
Or come share a glass of ZD.
Work has been weird today.
I'm going to clean&leave.
Hey, listen.
I put my pants on just like everyone else;
one leg at a time.
But when I get mine on-
I make gold records.
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