| Current mood: | --- [1/2] |
| Current music: | Pneumonia//Fog |
In the Bathroom
With the Shower Running
&my Clothes on-
I Figured out that I Hate you All
Is it Depression or Disease?
Tell it to the millipedes...
I don't know why I never made the move.
I'm such a fucking coward.
I would give anything to be a poor fuck, living in a studio apt
in the ghetto of Chicago
Catching the 6am train
to 56th street
& walking 3 more blocks to work.
Alone.
Lonely.
&Lost in my head.
Free from being hurt
by this depressing
place &
it's fucked up people
You can't believe in anything living here
So no one is happy
They fuck anything good up
Just for a little excitement in their lives.
It's the cold, I think.
It's me, I think.
bringing me down
Fucking.A.
Downtown Columbia around noon
is the closest to home
I've felt in awhile.
& it was terribly depressing.
As if I need anything else
to remind me how
fucked at life I am.
People, jazzy looking folk
wandered the streets
in the District.
Homeless on the benches//
Coffee shops A-GO!
Di Pratos inviting
Traffic Hell
Stop.Go.Stop.Go
Placebo is my soundtrack.
My nonexistant city-life soundtrack
&I wanna shoot up.
I wanna get so geeked
So drunk
So high
My blood stops flowing//
Yet I move
&dance
&scream
&sing
&relate to the motions of the city streets
On the prowl-
Invitation in-hand
Gallery[champagne]
&little black dress
It's the Loft- the height
The mood in red/
Taxi wages
&one-night stands
&A Life Spinning
Out.Of.Control.
&still in the office by 8am.
As much as the city calls to be my home-
I believe it would be the very death of me.
The City calls to me to be my resting grounds
A trashed apartment my tombstone.
I hope Jack stashed the syringes
Made out like a fucking bandit-
Can someone shut the fuck up for a second & just
listen
to
me
sob
Let me ruin your shirt
&punch your walls
&drink your whiskey
&pass-out in your bed
&use your arms for a vest about me
&&please please, just play something perfect in the background-
I will need a soundtrack to this break down.
If I ever get there
If I ever get there
If I ever get there
Just don't look surprised
or scared
or disgusted
Take Me In//No Questions Asked
The Life I've Left behind me//Is A Cold One
The happiest, depressed
individual we ever
did see.
I cannot ask you to be my shelter
during these storms
I'm hoping you offer
&You think I'm worth it
&You would like
to have me around
for some time
You know,
I have no home anymore.
I have a room.
&A place to crash.
It's not so surreal as it is
inspiring
&motivating
to live out of a car
If I had to.
Winter is the season of Death.
According to our great authors of long ago.
Can I please bury my face into your skin until I cannot breathe?
&the world begins to spin
&I fall right back into you?
Can you please lie to me forever as much as our forever allows?
I want to be perfect for someone at least once in this lifetime
[Even it means you make me believe it's true]
Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson made a cd
&it's the best thing I've played in this store to date.
-It's one of those you put on repeat-
smuggle the sweetest in secrets
I'm rotten at keeping in touch
But I miss you very much
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