| Current mood: | ++++ |
| Current music: | Love I Don't Have to Love//Bright Eyes |
Sink when you Get Close
Tie me to the Bedpost
Oiy vey
Oiy vey
Oiy vey, kids.
Did I break down to Mike? Yes. I'll admit it.
I have so many prejuduces against me.
- I'm a hella young manager
- I'm female
- I wasn't here when this place first opened
Does that give you right to condescend me? Oh no Sir.
Do you think I will join you in your piss contest? Not at all.
Just because Mike & I had the same ideas, it crawled up your ass because it wasn't you.
It wasn't you getting the attention.
It wasn't you with the ideas he liked.
-So you down me. Like I did something wrong changing your blueprints.
We were all brainstorming. Collectively.
fuck you.
-breathe-
Gah. Working with power hungry men, it's frustrating.
&oh so easily forgotten on the weekends.
It's not so much an intense look
It comes softly, wanting to speak
&content.
Above me, all over me
&your face in my hands
both our lips partly opened
&our breathing heavy
& we'll put our cheeks together
&move in rhythm
Slowly now
Intense then
-black out-
[You bring me to my knees]
I can't keep upright.
On the floor- &we are both out to win
& I do until
you cheat.
You can't pinch!
Still, I hold on tighter
Watching your face turn red
-UFC chokehold
-gets you everytime-
Inevitably, your mass overcomes
&I'm contorted in whichway ever
you could put me in.
I have the bruises to prove it
Sweet & annoying
Beautiful & tired
Charming & mean
Giving & rough
-The story of Us.
No, there won't be any regrets.
Even if in anger...
This is time well spent.
Even if I whimpered, I'm glad you didn't take me home.
"Do you like me?"
"I like you like you"
"Ditto"
"jolly good."
It'll be nice to be escorted to the Wine Gala with a handsome gentleman on my arm.
-The Tux & The Cocktail dress-
[Rest assured!]
I am the only one
like me//
Others can Fake it
But you
know what
you like
about me
&that cannot be Faked.
I spent $140 dollars at Books-A-Million this weekend... ch'yah.
It's an addiction.
I bought Cameron a collection of Jim Morrison's lyrics&poems&stories
[I love he likes the classics, y'know- real music.]
I bought my godson some freaky kids books including Puff the Magic Dragon, lol.
Cameron, too, bought him two books (too sweet) - Where the Wild Things Are & The Spider & the Fly (morbid!)
Lizz was too excited.
I got her a collection of Sylvia Plath's works & also the Grimm's Brothers Fairy Tales.
I got total sweet kisses for that.
Izzy's party went well. He's a whiney little thing but oh so sweet.
He ran up to me while I was sitting on Lizz's lap and just plants a chocolatey kiss on my lips. Then grabbed my boobs, lol.
Cameron made a liquor run after the grandmother left >.>
Mrs Sue: "Stephanie, I know after I say this you're going to hate me but I like this one. I know you're going to break-up with him now 'cause I said that but he's cool."
o.0 My mom said the exact same thing.
I'm not that rebellious. Geez, I got a couple piercings & tattoos. I'm not an anarchist.
It's so passe anymore
&we're both tired of certain people being upset we're dating,
Like it's wrong.
We're ready to be left alone.
To sleep through the night without a phone ring waking us up
Or someone's feelings getting hurt because neither of us can control
who won't stop texting us.
Can't we just be?
We didn't do anything wrong to anyone.
We didn't hurt anyone on purpose.
&if we did, well, it's time to get over it.
This has been the most complicated relationship thus far.
I've never had to deal with anyone outside me&the boyfriend.
There has never been people in the background talking shit.
It's always been just me & him.
With Cameron, God how much drama can seriously be stirred?
&None of it was ever between us. We've never gotten into a fight.
The other night, something went down
&my feelings crashed.
When he & I sat down to talk about it, he would raise his voice while he was defending himself. I asked him to lower his voice & just talk. The next day, he apologized to me. He said he's always been use to having to yell & fight to defend himself. I told him it was ok, but he didn't have to anymore. I never raised my voice to him that night & I told him I never would. [Exceptions I'm sure! Let's hope they never happen]
I don't like to fight. No matter how wrong I think the other person is.
I just want them to understand me & to understand them.
I want a mutual truce.
//the sooner I'm back nuzzling in your arms the better
It actually broke my heart to hear him say that.
Shit happens, what can you do?
Cussing one another won't help.
Sometimes I think I've been too laid-back. I should have said more.
But to what means?
I don't know how to explain the way my body
[gravitates to you]
The way I get shivers down to my lower back just by pressing up against you.
-&I hate it
Because that means
You've taken my gaurd down
It means-
You are capable of hurting me now
Even if I play cold & uncaring
My insides will squirm with discontent
&anxiety.
You've fought for me.
You've chased after me.
-You were willing to do anything-
&that means something to me.
I don't want to fall in love
I want to enjoy you
as much as possible
[This is the fun phase]
The honeymoon, if you will.
When nothing is too serious
& all is laidback.
&did you ever have to wonder?
Giving him up led him back to me
He's my boy so drunk he doesn't talk
&I'm his girl too sad to give a fuck
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