It's nearly two in the morning. Just came back from game. Not quite as exciting as last year, but it'll pick up, I'm sure. It's a very epic setting. I worry that my character overlaps too much with Foster's, because we both play very charismatic characters.
It's cold. I wonder what Trey's doing. I tried to call, but he didn't pick up. Maybe he's asleep. I was hoping he might be up late, since he often is when he's with his friends. I worry sometimes that maybe he doesn't call because he's met someone else. This is not my greatest worry, but it does occur to me sometimes in these idle moments when I'm wishing he was here and wondering what he's doing. I had a terrible nightmare about it some time ago, during the week that he wouldn't talk to me. I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. I don't remember most of them so much. My waking mind does a decent job of purging thoughts I don't want to hang on to. I really just want a hug. I'm really grateful that I'm being invited to take part in rpgs and Rocky Horror, but it's harder to enjoy such things when I'm missing Trey all the time. Kiwi called me today, for the first time in a while. She's met some really nice guy that she's really attracted to. Good for her. I'm glad she seems to have met someone that's not just trying to get in her pants for once. I'm really jealous though, that her guy goes to the same school, so she can see him as often as she cares to. I wish my relationship could be like that. It's really hard for me to watch Mickey and Sonia cuddling during game. I want to be held. Lately I feel farther away from him than when he was in military training. Maybe he'll surprise me and tell me he's going to make time to come see me for a bit. I would love that.
Mm, I want to hug him close and be nice and warm. Maybe play at being sexy a little bit, but mostly just to sit together and play video games and talk about random nerdy things.
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