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(`·. A Shocking Discovery .·´)
Well.. last night was.. interesting. I got online and T and Sami IMed me goin "Tj was lookin for you" If I was white, my face woulda seriously went pale. I thought he was dead. When they told me, my body got all tensed and my heart was beatin awkwardly and my thighs kept goin numb. It was weird. I dun know why I felt that way. Maybe cause I thought he was gone and it felt like he came back from the dead. Then when he signed on, I couldn't speak. For the first time in 3 years, I couldn't say anything to him.. I couldn't even tell him how much I missed him. I hope he didn't think I didn't. I just didn't wanna... mourn.. well.. cry, be depressed, whatever you wanna call it. I didn't wanna be as upset as I was about Cle when we broke up. That took too long to get over. I wasn't goin through that again. 2 weeks it took me and I'd pray for him every night that if he wasn't dead, that he was okay or if he was dead, he was in Heaven. - Shakes head. - All last night I felt wrong cause I felt like I should've waited longer. It made it seem like I really didn't care if he was gone or not when I did, but I didn't want to be depressed for another 8 months over another relationship ended. He actually wasn't all that upset about Boottee and I which was.. weird. I thought he was gonna be like "wtf. Fuck you." and such.. Jail must have turned him into a saint or maybe he really wanted me to be happy while he was gone.. I dun know. I had to sign off early last night before I could answer his question because my mom was bitchin about the phone and then Sean got in it, and I just wanted to lay down so I hope he isn't too upset about that. Maybe I felt like we weren't ever really go beyond a computer screen which is why it was so easy to move on.. not like my ao-fam didn't drill that in my head enough durin the whole relationship -.- but it's not like me to be that easily convinced. I dun know. - Sigh. - It's just really confusing right now.
(`·. Forensics, Interviews, and Stuff .·´)
Tomorrow is our end of the year Forensics party and I have to recite my sucky ass piece. I was supposed to bake some brownies, but I'm broke till Friday, so I hope they can understand. More than 1 person was assigned for dessert... I hope. ;x Then on Saturday, I have an interview with some people called The College Partnership. I've been gettin recognized a lot lately. It's weird. More colleges have sent me stuff and I dun know where they're gettin my name from. Schloarship offers and such, it's weird. Maybe those Who's Who Among American Students people are givin them my name. - Shrug. - Speakin of colleges, Boottee leaves for NSU next week. He's goin to check out his dorm and such tomorrow while I'm at the meetin, so I can't go with him. Every guy I'm with seems to leave me some way. Ha. He said he'd drive back home whenever he could but ehhhhh, I give us 2-3 months tops. I'm not a real phone person so that'd annoy me just always talkin to him on the phone all the damn time. It's a football schloarship so he might be busy a lot and really now... college girls against a junior at his old high school.. not sayin that I'm not good enough for him or anything but someone his age could probably do a lot more for him that I could. - Shrug. - Sex wise, helpin out wit school work wise, and they can drive him around, rofl. I dun get my license till Jan. so not like I would be able to drive the 2 hours to see him. Just knowin me, as much as I like to be alone sometimes instead of bein suffocated. Distance helps relationships supposedly, again I dun know. We'll see.
(`·. Anyway .·´)
Okay, I'm bored as hell. My left side is still killin me. I sleep on my left a lot so now some muscles in my back and my shoulder are all sore and shit and it hurts when I breathe deep, cough, sneeze, lay on my back, laugh or walk down the stairs, so yeah.. I found out heat helps it so I've been throwin a hot rag on it every hour or so to get away from the pain sometime. That's it. Gettin lazy on the updatin but whateva. At least I'm not lettin it expire. ;] <3
[; Scream 3 tour ; Tickets on sale June 20th ; Someone's pants are comin home with me xD ;]
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