..I swear I must be dreaming.. (roxychica2447) wrote, @ 2003-07-02 02:45:00

Self Destructing
I don't get it, you kno.. I really don't! i slept with the lil' soft oh soo comfy teddy bear that He almost bought me last night. i guess it's the closest thing to him i've got.. I've gone retarded. i can't sleep lately unless i'm holding something and for some fucked up reason when i'm holdin his lil teddy thingie it doesn't hurt so much?? it's been a week and one day since he told me to stop talking to him and to leave him alone. It still hurts soo bad. Talking to him and being friends with him made the pain of him having someone else so much less intense. I dono... he's really ignorant that's about it.

"lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in eachother all along."

i'm super tired. i babysat 15 hours last night. Jeez. today i feel like shit. I don't wanna go watch a movie with Dan. I really don't. i don't ever wanna do much of anything... it sucks so very much.

"take this razor, and sign your name across my wrist
so everyone will kno
who left me like this."

:( no i'm not suicidal...even tho Adam thinks i am. it's jus really sad thats all i guess. I'm soo glad that he's happy tho! all those fuckin I love you's and i care about you... blah blah blah go to hell... you didn't mean a single one of them cus if you did... you wouldn't be able to do this to me. or us.

and you're doing the same thing to your gf now.

Don't i jus feel so much better now?

whatever
-out

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