every star that i see is brighter than the last (roughxdraft) wrote, @ 2004-03-25 00:10:00

i am unworthy of everything
of happiness
of sleep
of people caring for me
of being alive

i hate being such a burden
i hate people who create problems just for attention
i hate people who say they dont care what other people say, then go and make a big deal to fit into the "goth loner"clique and say im original
i hate being alive and dealing with things
i hate having spare time to think, becuase i only think about the worst
i hate making so many mistakes
i hate dealing with everything
i hate myself
i hate my constant revulsions
i hate miami beach drivers

in a way, im like a volcano. everything is just kept inside until there is just too much in there and it erupts. all the pain just eats at me until the point where i need to get everything out in feeble attempts to feel better. i put up a good act for a while; perhaps thats why it has been mentioned that im faking this for attention. sure thing. i guess my mom was right when she said i would make a good actress. nobody had the slightest idea.

im sick of it all. i wish i could feel better or just die. somethings gotta give.

and thanks janaye for your kind words tonight :D thanks for caring so much.

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