| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | dead to the world - a song i wrote |
Lauren
Lauren actually talked to me today... she talked to me... i don't wnat to say why but we talked for like 5 minutes, I'm so thankful for that. God, I miss her so much... it's still killing me so bad. I'm raw on the outside and on the inside. I can't seem to let a day go by without thinking of her. Almost everyday in my diary is talking about how much I miss her and all the things we used to do. God, we were such good friends... the opposite, but that made us exactly the same. I heard a quote somewhere about opposites attracting to eat the whole chicken, because one would eat the dark meat and one would eat the white meat... And She was the person I thought of.
I don't know if she will ever ever ever ever realize how much it's killing me that we're not friends anymore. Honestly, I hurt myself and I don't know why, but I feel like if we were friends I might not be this depressed. I got so depressed as soon as we stopped being friends. I didn't talk to anyone after school. I wrote so much black poetry and songs that it would look like i was trying to kill myself (and admittingly one point, i did becaus ei was so upset and i didn't think i could take loosing someone i cared about)
honestly... it feels like she just died. I have no closure at all. I miss her so much. LAUREN I MISS YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME I STILL DON'T EWVEN KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG GOD IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH I'M DYING....
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