Lst night I watched my ER and Everwood tapes from the last week (don't get those channels at school) I was a little upset with how they ended ER but Everwood was really good. My dad had an appointment today and they offically gave him medical leave today which is good. Know my mom and I don't have to worry about him getting fired and can focus on watching him, and getting him better. My brother still doesn't understand but he never will... Very few people who don't have depression understand it. If things go well with him being back on Paxil then he should be back to work within the next fews, and we won't have to hospitalize him, thank god. I didn't see my dad much today he stay in his bed room and when he did come out my mom and I went to Grandmas and left him with my brother. I can't stand to see him like this so I just have to leave the house... I am trying hard to help mom out with things, so I mowed the lawn today and tomorrow I get to mow grandmas lawn. Which I don't mind it gets me out of the house. Ben(bf) keeps telling me things will work out with my dad and in the past they always have but these past few week were really bad and I wasn't sure it would work out. Now things are starting to turn around. Hopefully once the Paxil starts working again we can get him off the Zanx with out any withdrawl symptoms. If that happens we should be in the clear... I feel bad because I can't stand to be around him right now and I am a daddys girl but its just to emotional. Its not like it reminds me of my depression and that this could happen to me... Its just so difficult to see some one you love so much lose hope and turn emotionally comatose... If things don't get better I could always bury myslef in work, I need the money!